There was this atheist in the woods, see...

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers!
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.


As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..


He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.


He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out,

'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.


As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

Am I to count you as a believer?

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?


'Very well,' said the voice.


The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:



'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

the gravy ladle

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious
of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail
just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian
_______________________________________
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

An actually funny blonde joke.....seriously!

A Blonde was watching the news with her husband when the newscaster said 'Two Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident.'

The blonde started crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible!!! So many
men dying that way!'

Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there
is always that risk involved.'

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, said, 'Honey, How many is a
Brazilian?'

Some Rules to Live By (or not)

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

don't trust them old people!!!

Seniors Bus Tours



A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.


After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.


She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again .....he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'.

'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'

The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

Pictures of and from Space

If you are anything like me, you love great pictures. Do you have hundreds in your PC memory and change your desktop fifty times a week? Well, NASA has some great pictures and videos. This is a MUST for homeschooling. Here is a taste. This is Jupiter and its moon Ganymede. And this is just one of thousands of images on their site. There is also news items and reports.

Go ahead and click HERE to check it all out. Sometimes we forget the basic places we can go to for information and fun. And with the "vastness" of space of the World Wide Web, we forget about the 'vastness' of space itself.

A Happy Sky Over Los Angeles
Credit & Copyright: Dave Jurasevich (Mt. Wilson Observatory)

Explanation: Sunday, the sky seemed to smile over much of planet Earth. Visible the world over was an unusual superposition of our Moon and the planets Venus and Jupiter. Pictures taken at the right time show a crescent Moon that appears to be a smile when paired with the planetary conjunction of seemingly nearby Jupiter and Venus. Pictured above is the scene as it appeared from Mt. Wilson Observatory overlooking Los Angeles, California, USA after sunset on 2008 November 30. Highest in the sky and farthest in the distance is the planet Jupiter. Significantly closer and visible to Jupiter's lower left is Venus, appearing through Earth's atmospheric clouds as unusually blue. On the far right, above the horizon, is our Moon, in a waxing crescent phase. Thin clouds illuminated by the Moon appear unusually orange. Sprawling across the bottom of the image are the hills of Los Angeles, many covered by a thin haze, while LA skyscrapers are visible on the far left. The conjunction of Venus and Jupiter will continue to be visible toward the west after sunset during much of this month. Hours after the taking of this image, however, the Moon approached the distant duo, briefly eclipsed Venus, and then moved on.

I totally copied and pasted that last paragraph from the archives of NASA's featured photo of the day.

Ya'all really need to check it all out. Enjoy!

Come be a squirrel

One of my favorite forums in the world is the frugal squirrel forums. On this site, one can learn all kinds of new and exciting things as far as how to take care of oneself.

You can learn how to grow and cook your own food, what a B.O.B. is, hunting and fishing tips, about guns, and my favorite part: read some good stories. There are a couple boards that have stories. One is strictly Christian fiction and the other has all types of 'survival' stories.

I even have a couple on there.

Yes, you have to register, but I don't think you'll be disappointed.

HERE is the link. So go explore and learn a little something, who knows, you might just learn enough to save your butt if we have a nuclear war.