Friday, July 29, 2011

46% Dixie. Barely in Yankeedom.

LOL! I took a little quiz to determine if I was a Yankee or Dixie Rebel.


cute little quiz. Since I have lived all over the country, it was pretty accurate I think. I consider myself the best blend of both.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011



An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know crap?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Attorney

A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, an officer in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"

"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.

(keep reading)

"My Rolex!"

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Catman had a great blog today

You should go check it out. But there are MANY links so you should plan on spending more than five minutes there.


He said it pretty well.

Monday, July 18, 2011

"do as I say, not as I do"

or so it seems with the "King":

Swaziland's King Mswati III called Friday for his male subjects to get circumcised as he endorsed a campaign aimed at tackling the world's highest HIV infection rate.

.....Mswati did not say Friday whether he intended to get circumcised himself.


Why am I thinking this will NOT work????

a very good reason to not have multiple sexual partners!

Is America ready for the SUPER CLAP?

Gonorrhea, commonly called “the clap,” has long been a notoriously widespread but easily treatable sexually transmitted disease. But according to researchers presenting findings at a meeting of the International Society for Sexually Transmitted Disease Research in Quebec, “easily treatable” may no longer apply. For the first time, a drug-resistant strain of gonorrhea has been identified, and fears are growing that it’s spreading fast.

Makes me VERY glad I do not screw around!!!! Cause one NEVER knows just who everyone has been having sex with! (you do know that everyone LIES about who and how many, right?)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

cops bust LEMONADE stand!

Georgia sucks! Have they been sucking on too many lemons?


That city law requires a business and food permits ($50 a day), even if the stand was at the home of one of the girls....Health issues were also a concern, Morningstar said. "We were not aware of how the lemonade was made, who made the lemonade, of what the lemonade was made with, so we acted accordingly by city ordinance," he said.

There is another link on there where a farmer was sued for growing TOO MANY veggies!

What is wrong with Georgia???

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Subject: Becha haven't heard this one.

I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 10-year-old Granddaughter
and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"

She said "It's President's Day!"

She is a smart kid.

I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about
Washington or Lincoln ... etc.

She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White
House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

How is YOUR day going?

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?

fix the US budget

Here is a WEBSITE where YOU can set up a budget for the US.

I have been tinkering with it and wonder even MORE why congress cannot get their act together ...oh wait... I know, I AM NOT POWER HUNGRY, GREEDY, OR BRIBABLE! (spell check says that is not a word). I got the site from a blog I read.

Have fun!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I am dumb founded

Robber who broke into hair salon is beaten by its black-belt owner and kept as a sex slave for three days... fed only Viagra

A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.

Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.

But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.

She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.

Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.

She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going.

so the guy basically was raped to teach him a lesson. I wonder if he learned anything
Skinny Dipping

An elderly man in Hudson, Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pool in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pool, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'


Some old men can still think fast...

Monday, July 11, 2011

all the kids are gone

On my block, my little section of this world, there use to be a bit over a half dozen kids running around, making noise, yelling, fighting, you know -things kids do.

Well they are all gone now, just in a couple weeks. all moved away.

it is so quiet now....

it is kinda freaky in a weird sort of way.

These were kids that knew about playing outside... not like most kids that sit in front of the PC or TV ...

it is kinda sad, I cannot believe I miss em

Sunday, July 10, 2011

$20.3 million to bring "refugees" here

Seems Obama managed to sneak some executive order through:

Federal Register: February 4, 2009 (Volume 74, Number 22)
DOCID: fr04fe09-106 FR Doc E9-2488
Presidential Documents
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement
DOCID: fr04fe09-106

[[Page 6115]]
Presidential Determination No. 2009-15 of January 27, 2009

Unexpected Urgent Refugee and Migration Needs Related To Gaza
Memorandum for the Secretary of State
By the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, including section 2(c)(1) of the Migration and Refugee Assistance Act of 1962 (the ``Act''), as amended (22 U.S.C. 2601), I hereby determine, pursuant to section 2(c)(1) of the Act, that it is important to the national interest to furnish assistance under the Act in an amount not to exceed $20.3 million from the United States Emergency Refugee and Migration Assistance Fund for the purpose of meeting unexpected and urgent refugee and migration needs, including by contributions to international, governmental, and nongovernmental organizations and payment of administrative expenses of Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration of the Department of State, related to humanitarian needs of Palestinian refugees and conflict victims in Gaza.

click above to read the whole thing. No, I'm not surprised. He has shown he has NO regard for American citizens. $20 million could have done a lot here but then he has also already shown he cannot do anything worthy with $14 trillion.... so what is $20 million?

Never argue with a woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

Never argue with a woman who reads.

It's likely she can also think.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The anniversary of our independence is now behind us

235 years old yesterday. That is still pretty young, IMO. Yet some countries only last months or even days. What was it all about? Freedom. Allegedly.

Well Congress got a paid day: FOR ONLY WORKING 25 SECONDS

That just doesn't seem right to me. I wonder if they will pay taxes on that pay? Do they even have to pay income tax? hmmmm, something I really should know.

Anyways, I find it simply IRONIC how much people celebrated yesterday about their "FREEDOM" and how SO many "reminded" us how our troops or our government 'granted us' our freedoms, yet every other day of the year, they don't seem to mind as the government strips us of or tries to bind our freedoms. Sorry folks but the U.S.A. is NOT a free country. No country is really. Fighting wars and shedding blood is not what grants freedom. Our freedom is GOD given, NOT man given. Although we can allow man to bind it or take it. But the question becomes can we really shed blood to KEEP our freedom? (not that we really have it to begin with) OR are these wars and deaths just binding us more with the shed blood now on our hands?

What is freedom? Does it mean we can do whatever we want whenever we want? Seriously, is THAT freedom??? Is it ONLY for those who fight other men for it? Is freedom being locked in battle with your "enemy"?? Is freedom sending our young ones to fight the battle for us??? Is there really freedom from taking another persons life? Just because some of the same "type" of persons have taken lives themselves.....???

Is freedom, going to work each day of the week so that on the weekend you can party? Is freedom working at a job you actually like? Is freedom having your own land (although you have to pay yearly taxes on it), making your own power, growing your own food, and homeschooling your kids??? is THAT freedom??

OR is it KNOWLEDGE of how things REALLY are??? Is THAT freedom?

A famous man once said "the truth shall set you free", yet his followers seem to be the LEAST free people on earth. The TRUTH shall set you free....

The truth shall set you free......

The truth shall set you FREE!

Freedom is NOT about these earthly things, freedom is within us. Knowledge of who we are and how we stand with the God of Christ is what truly sets us free. This is the freedom we experience even when we are imprisoned, beaten, starved, lonely, oppressed, taxed to the hilt by gov, nagged at by spouses, working as factory drones, etc. There are those who are truly FREE in every single country on this planet.

And if we are truly honest with ourselves, we KNOW who these people are that ARE truly free. We see them here and there as we go about our lives. These are the ones with that big warm genuine smile on their face and joy in their hearts. You've seen them. That older lady at the counter of Micky D's or that quiet gentleman at the hardware store. You know that inner peace when you see it. You know the ones I'm talking about.

They have found the TRUTH and have been set FREE. They KNOW that freedom does NOT come from mankind shedding blood on the battle field, but rather the shed blood of just ONE man. They KNOW that freedom is NOT something granted to men by other men, but rather that freedom comes from God. There is no doubt in their minds that all these governments in the world really are irrelevant when compared to the Kingdom of God.

They listened to the Shepard's voice and are following him to his God.

And the truth shall set YOU free.