Sunday, February 27, 2011

Have you Ever Danced?

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.

The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.

He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there,
brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger
stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old
man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance...
never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old
fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping
around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing,
holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said,

"No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:

Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

Have to share a funny

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Fishbien," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years!

That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a brick wall!"

Thursday, February 24, 2011

the price of gas versus printer ink

The price of Gas versus Printer Ink

All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are....

You will be really shocked by the last one!
(At least, I was...)

Compared with Gasoline......

Think a gallon of gas is expensive?

This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 = $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 = $9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 = $10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 = $10..00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 = $33.60 per gallon

Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 = $178.13 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 = $123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 = $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 = $84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER...

Evian water 9 oz $1.49 = $21.19 per gallon!

$21.19 a gallon for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source

Evian spelled backwards is Naive.

(does that give you a clue about buying water!!!)

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?

So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at ....
$5,200 a gal.

(Five thousand two hundred dollars a gallon!!!)

So, the next time you're at the pump,be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil, or God forbid, Printer Ink!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

not sure if I like this or not! lol!

I guess I won't be tossing any stones if this happens (despite the claim it is break resistant)

Monday, February 21, 2011

So much for just a Two Lettered word!

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!

Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?



Saturday, February 19, 2011

Is this just the beginning?

(Sept. 15) -- His neighbors call it "Cabbagegate." And it cost Steve Miller a lot of green. The Clarkston, Ga., man was fined $5,200 for growing too many vegetables in his backyard.


this new food bill that is in congress will promote similar incidents, I REALLY think. Maybe it's time to totally enclose my yard with a nice tall fence which can then be covered! One giant "can see through" top on my yard.

Then of course my light bill will go sky high ....

just can't win it seems!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Remember the 1994 "hot coffee lawsuit" in which a jury awarded an elderly New Mexico woman nearly $3 million (later appealed and settled for an undisclosed sum) because she was injured by a cup of java at a local McDonald's?

Enter the "hot nacho cheese lawsuit."

I noticed he was sitting on an unsteady chair, who put him on that chair? His parents?


Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

about those constitutional rights...

should we have to disregard OUR constitutional rights in order to protect another individuals constitutional rights?

example: we have the right to freedom of religion. What if, as a minister, we are told we MUST marry those of the same sex? That it is THEIR constitutional right to be married.

Any other examples???

be careful what you pray for

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Discovered Ming vase will make retired factory worker wealthy

Now this is the type of retirement fund we all would love to "find". After taxes, he should have a half a million to retire on!


Seriously, I love to go look around flea markets and garage sales but never hope to find anything like this. I'd be the one who SELLS IT!!!! LOL! for a quarter!

I'll let ya'all know when I have a yard sale! :)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

To All My Friends in Oz!!!

I sure hope ya'all have buckled up and tied down everything!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers!!

'Worst ever' monster cyclone hits Australia