Monday, November 9, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are.....
WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100..
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it ?
Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe...
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary! Read the question again!
Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
It's really very simple
He opens his mouth and ask for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!
PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day, one and all.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Back to School Science You Won't Believe... The following are actual submissions on a series of quizzes, tests, and essays.
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube."
"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
So I was sitting back this morning and thinking of all the projects I've seem to manage to get going and thinking of the best way to organize them.
I have school projects and home projects and "teaching" projects which are different from my school projects.
design and make raised beds (I have four at least in mind)
Bluebirds and their defense
Bluebirds and their prey delivery
Bats and Fish
Rabies vaccine donations
grade all those exams and papers
decide on drawings
AND I really think I'm forgetting something!!!
As a most important note: I've added a link to a really GOOD blog with a LOT of useful info. This is just getting started but I am familiar with the guy and he knows his stuff. It's the "Freedom of the Hills" link over on the right. He is an excellent writer! And I'm hoping he puts his stories on there also.
Friday, August 7, 2009
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how
things were so hard for her.. She did not know how she was going to make
it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling... It
seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water
and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the
first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last
she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without
saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners..
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the
eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and
placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what
you see..." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.. She
did and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it..
After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, 'What does
it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile.
Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after
sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The
ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were=2 0in the
boiling water, they had changed the water..
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond?
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with
pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the
heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and
stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and
tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?!
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water,
the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things
are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you
elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you
a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make
you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way...
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; your
can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.
May we all be COFFEE!!!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Subject: Mermaid or Whale??
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I have to admit that I was skeptical since zombie stories are not my favorite type but I meandered over to the site and looked up the story.
Well I was hooked, so here's the link so you can be hooked also:
I went ahead and joined the forum but have not checked it all out yet; been obsessed with reading "Kathy's" story!!!! I even slowed down with my moving to read it. ALL 167 pages of it. WOW! this lady can write.
The story is not all zombies either, they do play a part (especially love all the "types" of zombies that are in it) but it is full of real people and relationships with a huge dose of humor and some zany and wonderful characters.
So GO and check out her story, but be warned: if you get hooked, plan on reading it until you are done!!!!!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
"That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this.."
The husband said, "I got up early this morning and Cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life... What we see when watching others depends on the purity of our minds and the window through which we look!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes
in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of
twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time
to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give
you back the other ten?' So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For
this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The
monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's
a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
like the Dog did?' And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You
must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the
sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty
years.'The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough
life you want me to live for sixty years... How about twenty
and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed
On the fourth day, God created humans and said: 'Eat,
sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll
give you twenty years.' But the human said: 'Only
twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the
forty the cow
gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the
dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,'
said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep,
play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave
in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we
do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the
last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.
Today was one of those days.
First thing this morning, I saw a baby snapping turtle. Cool!
Then as I was checking boxes for eggs, there was one momma who refused to leave her nest, so I got to give her a little pat for a job well done.
THEN as I was finishing up and driving down an old dirt road, a Doe stepped out and crossed over. I was a ways away so she took her time. My thought was....hmmmmm.....baby???
So I pulled over and waited. Sure enough out pops this tiny precious itty bitty baby fawn! Must have only been maybe a week old. Cute as a button. So I was content to watch him cross the road after his momma. Well, he had other ideas and toodled down the road TOWARDS ME AND MY CAR!!! Crap! wrong way baby and sure enough, his momma popped back out of the woods and saw my car and scrammed!
Well the little fella kept coming to my car and so I got out and he came right to me. How could I NOT pet the cutie pie? I couldn't! LOL! But I did try to pick him up and set him closer to where his momma could find him.
Well, he was as light as a feather! (hard to believe that he will be a nice hunting size in just a couple years!) So I watch him wander around the road some more and then scoot back the way he came. Yep to the wrong side of the road!!!
So I call the nature center and ask if they thought things would still be good and they confirmed my thoughts that if I would ONLY LEAVE, his momma would come back and find him.
So I scrammed.
But it was SO VERY COOL!!! (I did get a couple pictures but have to figure out how to down load them from my camera using bluetooth)
THEN just when I thought all the cool things were done for the day, a wild turkey flew out in front of my car as I was driving away!!! Now I hear them all the time but this was the first time to see one around there!
So it was indeed a GREAT and fine day today!!!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAt until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room.
"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?"
After a pause, the doctor replies, "Yes, but never with a daffodil!"
Thursday, May 7, 2009
HE'S MY BROTHER!
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."
Hi all, clutch one for the bluebird season is wrapping up. Just waiting for a few more nestlings to fledge and will begin cleaning out all the boxes in anticipation for clutch two. We did have a few nests not make it. And it seemed that more eggs failed to become fertilized but in all, most nests were successful! YAY!
We did seem to have more six egg clutches laid and some nests with only three surviving chicks. This is mostly due to a couple of the eggs not being fertile. So results from our research should be interesting to say the least!
I know I put up an older picture, I really need to download my camera and hopefully I'll get more pictures in clutch two. This first clutch went by so fast and with all else that was going on, well, I was bad and didn't get many pictures. take care!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I thought I might give a short bluebird report this week. For those who know me, you know that I am working with Eastern Bluebirds for my research.
Well, one would think that with the ice storm that hit the country in February, the bluebirds would be getting off to a late start. But NO.... NOT OUR Bluebirds!!!
I'm thinking that they thought it was TEOTWAWKI and so set to work almost two weeks early!! and are lying eggs left and right. I'm already watching for the first four nests to hatch, they are due any day now!!!
So my thought is that the storm wiped out all the weak and unhealthy bluebirds and so we are left with the super healthy ones, and they are not wasting time.
I plan on following these first few nests to see just how well they do, because we are still getting cold snaps. Yesterday was down right cold and today was still chilly. I won't be using them in my research, just want to see if the nest fledges. I am hoping so.
As a side note, I was coming home today and saw a license plate that said "WELUVKJ" which tickled me since my initials are KJ. I felt loved.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers!
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
At that instant the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God!'
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
'Very well,' said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious
of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'
Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail
just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The blonde started crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible!!! So many
men dying that way!'
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there
is always that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, said, 'Honey, How many is a
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan