an email from a friend

and I swear it was NOT me that sent her all these emails!!! LOL!

As we progress into 2012, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan


Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician!

Oh, and by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet..

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY…

Is HSUS REALLY "for" the animals???? or just another company looking for profit?

[Humane Society of the United States]

In one of my yahoo groups, a member named Dean posted this (yes I am stealing it from him):

The HSUS is much like PETA. They take in millions of dollars every year but use this money to create new laws to reduce the rights of the average citizen to raise and keep livestock or pets for their own purposes.

.They're NOT a humane society,
.They don't focus on rescuing animals, and
.They use their donors' money to line their own pockets and attack our
way of life.

The majority of Americans (71% in fact) believe HSUS to be a collection of local humane societies. They would be wrong.

The net assets HSUS had at the end of 2009 was $187 Million. They released the fact that they have $2.6 Million of their tax free donation money placed in an employee retirement fund. They spent over $48 Million last year for fund raising dinners and other events to hob nob with the rich Hollywood celebrities and gather the mother load that these famous people are asked to donate.

If you are sending these people the requested donation of $19 per month which they ask for in their TV ad, then you should now be feeling like a dummy. They never got that far with me.

Less than 1% of their total donations goes toward helping any animal in any way. They do not own a single animal shelter and are not in the business of finding animals new homes as their ads suggest.

Below is a spoof ad film produced by people who are against the HSUS and their onion cutting tactics to get people to part with their hard earned money. I even know a few kids who worked during the summer to gather up money from odd jobs thinking that they were doing a good deed by sending this hard earned money to HSUS.

HSUS: Lawyers In Cages
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTrhQd9GHlE

Here is a site with more facts about the HSUS and their agenda.
http://protecttheharvest.com/

It seems like the people who really care about the earth, protecting the animals, and tending the land are being used to gather money which will later be used to destroy everything that they hold important.

Groups like these work like Monsanto and Tyson. If you give them money somewhere down the chain they will eventually own your soul and put you out of business or destroy your personal way of life.

I watched the show Houston SPCA on Animal planet and have never before seen a smoother job done of stealing livestock from farmers and ranchers. One complaint was supposedly reported about a mame goat and tyhe SPCA showed up with livestock trailers and the local police force to force compliance and removal of all animals on the premises.

There were no abused nor starved animals on the entire place but every animal was seized and hauled away just because of one goat with a bad front leg. I am not an educated Veteranarian with a degree but I could tell just from looking that the only thing wrong with the goat was that it had arthritis in it's knee as is common in the entire species.

Before the show was over the judge awarded custody of the LIVESTOCK to the SPCA who had already scattered them to the 4 winds and had them in the custody of their close friends within the week. The real owners were still going to legally contest the decision [supposed to be just a hearing] and the SPCA also tagged the owners in court with a Vet bill for over $5,000 and that wasn't counting feed and care. That was for vet inspection and the care of one old goat with an arthritic knee. Who could afford vet care for their livestock with standard fees like those?

The Old Fashioned Way

I came across an OLD book, 100 years old at least; that goes into how to run a household. It is over 1000 pages long and has such interesting subjects as how to purify water, make soap, can, and even 'workroom' items like metal working. HOUSEHOLD DISCOVERY Enjoy! :)