A few funnies sent by my mom

One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. “I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the care,” said the driver. “No way! Get lost!” replied the boy. “How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?” the driver asked. “I said no way,” replied the boy. “What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?” asked the driver. “No, I’m not getting in the car,” answered the boy. “Okay, I’ll give you a gab of M&Ms and 100 dollars,” the driver offered. “No!” replied the boy. “What will it take to get you in the car?” asked the driver. The boy replied, “Listen, Dad. You bought the Volvo - you live with it!”

The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.” “Good. What comes after three?” “Four,” answers the boy. “What comes after six?” “Seven.” “Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?” “A jack,” says the little boy.

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife’s better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over again. My wife agreed. I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announce, “Honey, I’m home!” “And just where have you been?” she replied sharply. “It’s after seven o’clock!”