Tuesday, August 17, 2010

confessions of a pack rat

yes, I am a pack rat. I fully have always disclosed this.

And now I know why. Yes, there are physical things going on in the brain, our brains do indeed work differently. We tend to overly attach meaning to 'things'. Everything we 'keep' has a sentimental value to it.

We love and hate those sentiments.

Those 'memories'.

Those 'moments' we've tried to freeze in time.

We have not yet learned that time keeps moving forward. Oh but we can fake 'moving forward' real well. But we will go back and pick up one of our treasures and relive past events.

We will then pack up our various treasures and probably not even look or think about them (too much) until the day we unpack that particular box and then relive those bitter sweet memories.

And as the years go by, we simply keep adding to our treasures, not really wanting to 'let go' of the past; even if it's already let go of us.

So yesterday and today I've been "unpacking" a LOT of my boxes (yes I know I moved over a year ago...I'm a pack rat!) and I had to stop. The memories were just TOO strong: the love, laughter, tears, and pain all came rushing back as if I WAS in 'yesterday'. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I found so many things that made me smile: my eldest daughters drawing of a nicknack I have, very well done too; the home made "pea-knuckle" board my ex husband and I used to use playing cards -something I'll never use again most likely; books I bought for one or another of my kids; and other things. Things that have no value at all; I wouldn't get a penny for them on ebay nor would any one claim them on freecycle -but so very valuable to ME.

These treasures remind me that despite the lies and deceptions and disloyalty; we did have some great moments. And even though it will be only me that treasure them; they will be treasured.

So the next time someone you love or come across has a whole lot of what you'd think is junk; remember -it goes way beyond just the things; it goes into their very heart of hearts and has value.

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