Saturday, November 20, 2010

loneliness

In this world of overpopulation and "interconnectedness" available via the internet; it seems to me that people are more lonely than ever.

One can be lonely due to no one being around on a regular basis OR one can be lonely while in a crowded room full of family and friends.

I like being alone. I can do what I want, when I want. However, that doesn't mean I would not like to share my life with someone. But I don't feel "lonely" too often. Mostly when I am in large crowds, I feel disconnected but not lonely.

However, there are those who NEED someone who cares about them close by all the time. They NEED that bond and when there isn't one, they suffer greatly. And it isn't really that easy to find someone who is willing to bond with you on such an intimate level that you KNOW you can trust. Too many times that trust is broken and then the person feels even more isolated and maybe even unworthy and even less likely to look and find someone to trust and bond with.

So what is a person who longs for trustworthy companionship to do?

well, they cannot force anyone to 'be there' for them; but they can work on themselves. Yes maybe they are already a super great person.... but no one is perfect! And we ALL can stand a bit of "refreshing".

Even old hags, like me can always benefit from some constructive actions.

First and foremost, maybe make a list of things you like about yourself and a list of things you would like to change about yourself. Think about all aspects of your life and YOU personally: mentally/physically/spiritually/emotionally. You can add your hobbies and talents, just anything and everything you can think of.

Really be honest with yourself. If you don't drag out things that make you uncomfortable, you are NOT being honest with yourself.... just saying. Be honest.

Then make a plan on how you can make those good things about yourself even better! That is right, put the bad list aside for now. For one month, just think about the GOOD~!

After actively working on those things for a month. Take out the list again and see what you can scratch off the bad list. There should be at least two things. Surprise!

Keep working on those positive things for another month, pull out your list again and see what else you can scratch off the 'bad' list.

AND see what you can ADD to the positive/good list.

You may just be even more surprised.

How does this help loneliness? Well the more comfortable and happy with yourself you are, the less you will feel the need for others 'approval' and 'presence'.

This 'new and approved' attitude will shine through and attract the kind of person you WANT to share a life with and give you the strength and confidence to forge a wonderfully strong bond with someone who is worthy of YOU.

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