sent to me by my mom:
The Coat Hanger
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and saw an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said," I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her help.
Within five minutes a beat up old motor cycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "Is this what you sent to help me God?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out less than a day."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"
Is GOD GOOD - or what?
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Compulsive Hoarding: Treasures or Trash?
(this is an essay I had to write for my oral comp class a few years ago; I have done a bit of editing but it is a subject I find fascinating)
Compulsive hoarding is a nice way of saying that someone has too much stuff. But just how much is too much?
Those who don't like clutter are sometimes too quick to tell others what should be thrown away. What looks like trash to the anti-clutterer could be treasure to the one that is saving it. As I read over the two articles that I selected, not only did I get a chill up my spine, but I began to get a sense of dread. I began to see a potential future for myself, one that could bury me alive -literally, if I let it. I'm beginning to think I may have crossed the invisible line to "too much."
After reading the case study in Behavior Modification (214-232), I began to see a glimmer of hope for those like me- those who like their treasures. I'm glad I read it after I read the article in Discover (30-31), which had some not-so-happy endings in it. So, please, read on and you can decide for yourself: what is trash and what is treasure and how much is too much.
Should you intervene?
The best way for an intervention, in compulsive hoarding, to work is to have a plan of action. This plan, according to Behavior Modification, was put into action in a case study written by Jill A. Cermele, Laura Melendez-Pallitto, and Gahan J. Pandina. Their subject: Mary. The authors wrote down a definition of hoarding that had three specific parts: "(1) the acquisition of, and failure to discard a large number of possessions that appear to be useless or of limited value; (2) living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designed; and (3) significant distress or impairment in functioning caused by hoarding" (Frost and Hartl 1996; "qtd. in" BM 217).
The article also suggested that a hoarder may be more likely to have a close relative that also hoards. Many of the items that are hoarded are the same kinds of things that non-hoarders buys. Hoarders seem to not like others touching or throwing away any of their possessions in their collections. "Behavioral avoidance describes the difficulty hoarders experience in discarding items in an effort to avoid feelings of anxiety about decision making, feelings of loss, and the overwhelming task of actually removing months or years of clutter" (BM 218).
The plan that was put into action with Mary had three steps, which was thoroughly discussed with her before any action was taken. The three steps were: (1) assessment of clutter, (2) intervention planning, and (3) dehoarding. They also laid down some ground rules to help Mary be more comfortable. The rules were simple: Mary was in charge of whether and how the dehoarding took place, support and feedback would be provided during the process of dehoarding, and active participants and physical help would be given for the sorting through and removing of items. The plan went very well and many of Mary's treasures found new homes by being donated to good causes. Mary felt relief that her things had a place to go. She was even able to sell her house and move within six months.
Extreme Cases:
The second article was from Discover (October 2004 30-31). Mary Duenwald related several stories of hoarders and how different their lives were. Mr. Moore lived in a full 10 by 10 foot apartment in New York City. He was buried standing up for two days before someone heard his cries for help. One man collected books, papers and pieces of junk mail. In his treasure collection, he lost a six-figured check. Then there was the very sad story of "Homer and Langley Collyer, two pack-rat brothers who for four decades crammed their Harlem mansion with heaps of debris: newspapers, old Christmas trees, sawhorses, perhaps a dozen pianos, even a dismantled automobile" (30). Homer was found dead of starvation and it took city workers eighteen days to uncover his brother's smothered body.
The article also brought out that hoarding compulsion "is a natural and adaptive instinct gone amok" (30). This statement is supported by the examples of the Arctic gray jay and Mall black wheat-ears. "Humans appear to be the only species that takes hoarding to pathological excess" (30).
The article goes on to say that hoarders are emotional, intelligent, and well educated; but, think in complex ways. The inability to make decisions seems to be one underlining cause of hoarding which tends to extend to other areas of their lives. Such as starting a project and going on to another one before the first one is finished. Hoarders also like to talk a lot. They give every possible detail about a subject. Medicine does not seem to work with hoarders. In a study published in the June American Journal of Psychiatry, it's reported that hoarders "have lower activity in the cingulate gyrus -a structure that runs through the middle of the brain (think mohawk), front to back-particularly in areas known to be involved in decision making and focusing attention" ("qtd.in" Dis. 31). The article gives solid evidence of physical reasons for hoarding and little hope of a cure.
What about ME?????
My mom's mom is a pack rat. That's one mark against me. I have a huge problem throwing away my "paperwork" like: paid bills, cute poems, pictures the kids drew ten years ago, and magazine articles that show craft projects I'd like to try. There's mark number two against me.
My kitchen table is too full to sit at and eat. Does that make marks three already? My ex-hubby use to say that I give way too much information when he would ask me a question.
How many marks do I have left?
In my defense, I can honestly say I've never lost any of my children or pets within my treasures.
If I were to believe the definitions given in the articles, then I would have to say I am crossing over into hoardingism. I don't have trash, I have treasures. I hate throwing away things that I may be able to use "some day" because the day after I throw it away, I'll really need it.
I feel that the author in the Discover article found the most extreme cases she could find. I also noticed that the people were older, so maybe that gives me a few years to nip my hoarding inclinations in the bud. I'll have to find my biggest nippers for the job; I know they are around here somewhere.
The articles did throw some cold water on my face and help me to see my treasures in a different light. Mr. Moore and the Collyer brothers, are good examples to think about when I try to decide if I should keep something or not. The case study on Mary gave me hope that I'm not a lost cause.
Is my ability to collect things inherited? Is my brain somehow not working right? Can I rightly blame someone or something else for me being a pack rat? Can I actually get rid of any of the clutter in my house without making myself upset? These are all questions that I have been asking myself because of reading those articles.
Maybe it won't hurt me to go through everything in the house and see just what things I could find a new home for. I could still keep my most special treasures. I could even have a huge yard sale, sell all my not-so-special treasures, make alot of money, and go buy new treasures. I'll have to make sure the sign says "hoarders only" since everyone that is NOT a hoarder will think it's all trash.
( now please be a bit easier on people like me :D )
The two articles I used:
Cermele, Jill A., Laura Melendez-Pallitto, Gahan J. Pandina. "Intervention in Compulsive Hoarding." Behavior Modification, Vol. 25 No. 2, April 2001: 214-232.
Duenwald, Mary. "The Psychology of ...Hoarding." Discover Oct 2004: 30-31.
Compulsive hoarding is a nice way of saying that someone has too much stuff. But just how much is too much?
Those who don't like clutter are sometimes too quick to tell others what should be thrown away. What looks like trash to the anti-clutterer could be treasure to the one that is saving it. As I read over the two articles that I selected, not only did I get a chill up my spine, but I began to get a sense of dread. I began to see a potential future for myself, one that could bury me alive -literally, if I let it. I'm beginning to think I may have crossed the invisible line to "too much."
After reading the case study in Behavior Modification (214-232), I began to see a glimmer of hope for those like me- those who like their treasures. I'm glad I read it after I read the article in Discover (30-31), which had some not-so-happy endings in it. So, please, read on and you can decide for yourself: what is trash and what is treasure and how much is too much.
Should you intervene?
The best way for an intervention, in compulsive hoarding, to work is to have a plan of action. This plan, according to Behavior Modification, was put into action in a case study written by Jill A. Cermele, Laura Melendez-Pallitto, and Gahan J. Pandina. Their subject: Mary. The authors wrote down a definition of hoarding that had three specific parts: "(1) the acquisition of, and failure to discard a large number of possessions that appear to be useless or of limited value; (2) living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designed; and (3) significant distress or impairment in functioning caused by hoarding" (Frost and Hartl 1996; "qtd. in" BM 217).
The article also suggested that a hoarder may be more likely to have a close relative that also hoards. Many of the items that are hoarded are the same kinds of things that non-hoarders buys. Hoarders seem to not like others touching or throwing away any of their possessions in their collections. "Behavioral avoidance describes the difficulty hoarders experience in discarding items in an effort to avoid feelings of anxiety about decision making, feelings of loss, and the overwhelming task of actually removing months or years of clutter" (BM 218).
The plan that was put into action with Mary had three steps, which was thoroughly discussed with her before any action was taken. The three steps were: (1) assessment of clutter, (2) intervention planning, and (3) dehoarding. They also laid down some ground rules to help Mary be more comfortable. The rules were simple: Mary was in charge of whether and how the dehoarding took place, support and feedback would be provided during the process of dehoarding, and active participants and physical help would be given for the sorting through and removing of items. The plan went very well and many of Mary's treasures found new homes by being donated to good causes. Mary felt relief that her things had a place to go. She was even able to sell her house and move within six months.
Extreme Cases:
The second article was from Discover (October 2004 30-31). Mary Duenwald related several stories of hoarders and how different their lives were. Mr. Moore lived in a full 10 by 10 foot apartment in New York City. He was buried standing up for two days before someone heard his cries for help. One man collected books, papers and pieces of junk mail. In his treasure collection, he lost a six-figured check. Then there was the very sad story of "Homer and Langley Collyer, two pack-rat brothers who for four decades crammed their Harlem mansion with heaps of debris: newspapers, old Christmas trees, sawhorses, perhaps a dozen pianos, even a dismantled automobile" (30). Homer was found dead of starvation and it took city workers eighteen days to uncover his brother's smothered body.
The article also brought out that hoarding compulsion "is a natural and adaptive instinct gone amok" (30). This statement is supported by the examples of the Arctic gray jay and Mall black wheat-ears. "Humans appear to be the only species that takes hoarding to pathological excess" (30).
The article goes on to say that hoarders are emotional, intelligent, and well educated; but, think in complex ways. The inability to make decisions seems to be one underlining cause of hoarding which tends to extend to other areas of their lives. Such as starting a project and going on to another one before the first one is finished. Hoarders also like to talk a lot. They give every possible detail about a subject. Medicine does not seem to work with hoarders. In a study published in the June American Journal of Psychiatry, it's reported that hoarders "have lower activity in the cingulate gyrus -a structure that runs through the middle of the brain (think mohawk), front to back-particularly in areas known to be involved in decision making and focusing attention" ("qtd.in" Dis. 31). The article gives solid evidence of physical reasons for hoarding and little hope of a cure.
What about ME?????
My mom's mom is a pack rat. That's one mark against me. I have a huge problem throwing away my "paperwork" like: paid bills, cute poems, pictures the kids drew ten years ago, and magazine articles that show craft projects I'd like to try. There's mark number two against me.
My kitchen table is too full to sit at and eat. Does that make marks three already? My ex-hubby use to say that I give way too much information when he would ask me a question.
How many marks do I have left?
In my defense, I can honestly say I've never lost any of my children or pets within my treasures.
If I were to believe the definitions given in the articles, then I would have to say I am crossing over into hoardingism. I don't have trash, I have treasures. I hate throwing away things that I may be able to use "some day" because the day after I throw it away, I'll really need it.
I feel that the author in the Discover article found the most extreme cases she could find. I also noticed that the people were older, so maybe that gives me a few years to nip my hoarding inclinations in the bud. I'll have to find my biggest nippers for the job; I know they are around here somewhere.
The articles did throw some cold water on my face and help me to see my treasures in a different light. Mr. Moore and the Collyer brothers, are good examples to think about when I try to decide if I should keep something or not. The case study on Mary gave me hope that I'm not a lost cause.
Is my ability to collect things inherited? Is my brain somehow not working right? Can I rightly blame someone or something else for me being a pack rat? Can I actually get rid of any of the clutter in my house without making myself upset? These are all questions that I have been asking myself because of reading those articles.
Maybe it won't hurt me to go through everything in the house and see just what things I could find a new home for. I could still keep my most special treasures. I could even have a huge yard sale, sell all my not-so-special treasures, make alot of money, and go buy new treasures. I'll have to make sure the sign says "hoarders only" since everyone that is NOT a hoarder will think it's all trash.
( now please be a bit easier on people like me :D )
The two articles I used:
Cermele, Jill A., Laura Melendez-Pallitto, Gahan J. Pandina. "Intervention in Compulsive Hoarding." Behavior Modification, Vol. 25 No. 2, April 2001: 214-232.
Duenwald, Mary. "The Psychology of ...Hoarding." Discover Oct 2004: 30-31.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
passive aggressive people
so I busted a person who lied about me on a forum and she played the victim, not even acknowledging she lied.
oh well, people are people so I am not surprised she did not own up to her lie. it is typical behavior that anyone can learn about in psych 101. Their pride gets in the way and they blow a simple statement into a huge mountain to make themselves feel better.
Then they claim they forgive someone for an imagined harm -which in reality was just someone calling them out on their behavior. It makes them feel oh so special. They cannot even see that they are the one that should be apologizing. Usually it takes a very large blow to their ego before they can see the truth about themselves... kinda like hitting rock bottom. Or God Himself slapping ya down a few pegs.
Kinda sad and since I have been slapped down by God Himself; I know she will be in for some very hard times... cause God does not mess around when He goes to proving something to ya -about yourself. Hopefully He finds her heart worthy of His attention though.... cause I also know that He does a great job IF you listen and obey.... and one always comes out of a -Heavenly Humbling- a much better person. Although we do tend to be more blunt and straight to the point, especially when it comes to exposing lies about God.
Ok, enough venting. It's not that she made me mad or angry, just more like frustrated. People like that ARE frustrating because they cannot see any harm they are doing.
oh well, people are people so I am not surprised she did not own up to her lie. it is typical behavior that anyone can learn about in psych 101. Their pride gets in the way and they blow a simple statement into a huge mountain to make themselves feel better.
Then they claim they forgive someone for an imagined harm -which in reality was just someone calling them out on their behavior. It makes them feel oh so special. They cannot even see that they are the one that should be apologizing. Usually it takes a very large blow to their ego before they can see the truth about themselves... kinda like hitting rock bottom. Or God Himself slapping ya down a few pegs.
Kinda sad and since I have been slapped down by God Himself; I know she will be in for some very hard times... cause God does not mess around when He goes to proving something to ya -about yourself. Hopefully He finds her heart worthy of His attention though.... cause I also know that He does a great job IF you listen and obey.... and one always comes out of a -Heavenly Humbling- a much better person. Although we do tend to be more blunt and straight to the point, especially when it comes to exposing lies about God.
Ok, enough venting. It's not that she made me mad or angry, just more like frustrated. People like that ARE frustrating because they cannot see any harm they are doing.
Friday, December 23, 2011
math, oh how you have changed.
I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried... Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1960s:
1. Teaching Math In 1960s (when I was in school)
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No
4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).
6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.
1. Teaching Math In 1960s (when I was in school)
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No
4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).
6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Hypothetical (or not) situation:
you are walking along minding your own business, having had a fairly bad day and end up walking into a group of thugs/gang members who are standing around listening to some music looking for trouble. Do you:
1. cry like a baby and beg for your life and let them beat the snot out of you and probably kill you and steal everything off your body?
2. Pretend you do not see them and just walk on through? and then they follow you, beat you up, possibly kill you and rob you of everything on your body.
3. Decide to defend yourself and manage beat the snot out of at least two of them before they gang up and take you down and beat you up and possible kill you and steal everything on your body?
4. Jump into a major butt kicking with a Viking Battle Cry, grab whatever you can grab and go in swinging and manage to beat the snot out of all the members at least taking out half before the other half manages to over power you (or not?) and beat you up, but not able to kill you because you are still fighting.
5. Act like a crazy person and get into their faces talking all kinds of weird and crazy stuff in an attempt to convince them you have nothing worth stealing, not even your life.
6. Plaster a huge smile on your face and ask them to turn up the music and dance with you?
This was a real life situation I was once in. Since I am still here, you probably can rule out which ones I did not do.
What would you do? If it is not on the list, please add it in the comments.
If there is any interest I will let you know in a couple days what I DID do.
1. cry like a baby and beg for your life and let them beat the snot out of you and probably kill you and steal everything off your body?
2. Pretend you do not see them and just walk on through? and then they follow you, beat you up, possibly kill you and rob you of everything on your body.
3. Decide to defend yourself and manage beat the snot out of at least two of them before they gang up and take you down and beat you up and possible kill you and steal everything on your body?
4. Jump into a major butt kicking with a Viking Battle Cry, grab whatever you can grab and go in swinging and manage to beat the snot out of all the members at least taking out half before the other half manages to over power you (or not?) and beat you up, but not able to kill you because you are still fighting.
5. Act like a crazy person and get into their faces talking all kinds of weird and crazy stuff in an attempt to convince them you have nothing worth stealing, not even your life.
6. Plaster a huge smile on your face and ask them to turn up the music and dance with you?
This was a real life situation I was once in. Since I am still here, you probably can rule out which ones I did not do.
What would you do? If it is not on the list, please add it in the comments.
If there is any interest I will let you know in a couple days what I DID do.
Friday, November 25, 2011
some of the recent local headlines:
Video surveillance shows escaped inmates climbing wall, under crawl space
Parkin Mayor: Police Chief found dead Thanksgiving Day morning
Grandma shot while cooking Thanksgiving dinner
10 things you should not buy on Black Friday
Children traumatized after boy struck and killed in school parking lot
Man dies after given execution drug by mistake
Jackson Co. sheriff’s deputy resigns after accidental shooting in jail
AR man gets 8 years for cooking meth in Wal-Mart
Baby sitter accused of sexually assaulting toddler
Klan symbols target officials in small AR town
I was going to link them all but they are already depressing enough... ok, I went ahead and linked them all.
Parkin Mayor: Police Chief found dead Thanksgiving Day morning
Grandma shot while cooking Thanksgiving dinner
10 things you should not buy on Black Friday
Children traumatized after boy struck and killed in school parking lot
Man dies after given execution drug by mistake
Jackson Co. sheriff’s deputy resigns after accidental shooting in jail
AR man gets 8 years for cooking meth in Wal-Mart
Baby sitter accused of sexually assaulting toddler
Klan symbols target officials in small AR town
I was going to link them all but they are already depressing enough... ok, I went ahead and linked them all.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
yep it is that time of year again
Thanksgiving.
well I am of Native American descent and I do not feel it is a good day.
I think of the millions of lives slaughtered directly and indirectly and am not thankful.
I think of the lands stolen and am not thankful.
I think of the cultures and languages lost and am not thankful.
I think of the deceit and lies and am not thankful.
So each bite of your feasts is an insult to all the lives lost.
every time you say -happy thanksgiving- it is an insult and slap in the face to the chidren forced from their homes and into a culture that spit on them and tortured them.
yes this is my point of view but it is based on truth
So enjoy your meal and your happy times and I will mourn the dead
and if you think I am insulting you and your traditions... well I can live with that
after all, I have learned history and do not deny it
and I will not pretend and celebrate anything that is based on murder, deceit and greed.
meanwhile, every other day but this one, I will be thankful to God for every blessing he given me.
well I am of Native American descent and I do not feel it is a good day.
I think of the millions of lives slaughtered directly and indirectly and am not thankful.
I think of the lands stolen and am not thankful.
I think of the cultures and languages lost and am not thankful.
I think of the deceit and lies and am not thankful.
So each bite of your feasts is an insult to all the lives lost.
every time you say -happy thanksgiving- it is an insult and slap in the face to the chidren forced from their homes and into a culture that spit on them and tortured them.
yes this is my point of view but it is based on truth
So enjoy your meal and your happy times and I will mourn the dead
and if you think I am insulting you and your traditions... well I can live with that
after all, I have learned history and do not deny it
and I will not pretend and celebrate anything that is based on murder, deceit and greed.
meanwhile, every other day but this one, I will be thankful to God for every blessing he given me.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Why I Like Retirement !!!
Why I Like Retirement !!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favourite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favourite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
sent by a friend; space from a balloon
This story gives the term 'Test Pilot' a whole new meaning!!
Joe Kittinger is not a household aviation name like Neil Armstrong or Chuck Yeager. But what he did for the U. S. space program is comparable. On Aug. 16, 1960, as research for the then-fledgling U. S. space program, Air Force Captain Joseph Kittinger rode a helium balloon to the edge of space, 102,800 feet above the earth, a feat in itself.
Then, wearing just a thin pressure suit and breathing supplemental oxygen, he leaned over the cramped confines of his gondola and jumped -- into the 110-degree-below-zero, near-vacuum of space. Within seconds his body accelerated to 714 mph in the thin air, breaking the sound barrier.
After free-falling for more than four and a half minutes, slowed finally by friction from the heavier air below, he felt his parachute open at 14,000 feet, and he coasted gently down to the New Mexico desert floor. Kittinger's feat showed scientists that astronauts could survive the harshness of space with just a pressure suit and that man could eject from aircraft at extreme altitudes and survive.
Upon Kittinger's return to base, a congratulatory telegram was waiting from the Mercury seven astronauts - including Alan Shepard and John Glenn. More than four decades later Kittinger's two world records - the highest parachute jump, and the only man to break the sound barrier without an aircraft and live - still stand. We decided to visit the retired colonel and Aviation Hall of Famer, now 75, at his home in Altamonte Springs, Florida, to recall his historic jump.
FORBES GLOBAL: Take us back to New Mexico and Aug. 16, 1960.
Joe Kittinger: We got up at 2 am to start filling the helium balloon. At sea level, it was 35 to 40 feet wide and 200 feet high; at altitude, due to the low air pressure, it expanded to 25 stories in width, and still was 20 stories high!
At 4 am I began breathing pure oxygen for two hours. That's how long it takes to remove all the nitrogen from your blood so you don't get the bends going so high so fast. Then it was a lengthy dress procedure layering warm clothing under my pressure suit. They kept me in air-conditioning until it was time to launch because we were in the desert and I wasn't supposed to sweat. If I did, my clothes would freeze on the way up.
How was your ascent?
It took an hour and a half to get to altitude. It was cold. At 40,000 feet, the glove on my right hand hadn't inflated. I knew that if I radioed my doctor, he would abort the flight. If that happened, I knew I might never get another chance because there were lots of people who didn't want this test to happen.
I took a calculated risk, that I might lose use of my right hand. It quickly swelled up, and I did lose use for the duration of the flight. But the rest of the pressure suit worked. When I reached 102,800 feet, maximum altitude, I wasn't quite over the target.
So I drifted for 11 minutes. The winds were out of the east. What's it look like from so high up? You can see about 400 miles in every direction. The formula is 1.25 x the sq. root of the altitude in thousands of feet. (The square root of 102,000 ft is 319 X 1.25 = 399 miles) The most fascinating thing is that it's just black overhead--the transition from normal blue to black is very stark. You can't see stars because there's a lot of glare from the sun, so your pupils are too small. I was struck with the beauty of it. But I was also struck by how hostile it is: more than 100 degrees below zero, no air. If my protection suit failed, I would be dead in a few seconds. Blood actually boils above 62, 000 feet.
I went through my 46-step checklist, disconnected from the balloons power supply and lost all communication with the ground. I was totally under power from the kit on my back. When everything was done, I stood up, turned around to the door, took one final look out and said a silent prayer: "Lord, take care of me now." Then I just jumped over the side.
What were you thinking as you took that step?
It's the beginning of a test. I had gone through simulations many times--more than 100. I rolled over and looked up, and there was the balloon just roaring into space. I realized that the balloon wasn't roaring into space; I was going down at a fantastic rate! At about 90,000 feet, I reached 714 mph.
The altimeter on my wrist was unwinding very rapidly. But there was no sense of speed. Where you determine speed is visual--if you see something go flashing by. But nothing flashes by 20 miles up--there are no signposts there, and you are way above any clouds. When the chute opened, the rest of the jump was anticlimactic because everything had worked perfectly. I landed 12 or 13 minutes later, and there was my crew waiting. We were elated.
How about your right hand?
It hurt--there was quite a bit of swelling and the blood pressure in my arm was high. But that went away in a few days, and I regained full use of my hand.
What about attempts to break your record?
We did it for air crews and astronauts--for the learning, not to set a record.
They will be going up as skydivers. Somebody will beat it someday. Records are made to be broken.. And I'll be elated. But I'll also be concerned that they're properly trained. If they're not, they're taking a heck of a risk.
Joe Kittinger is not a household aviation name like Neil Armstrong or Chuck Yeager. But what he did for the U. S. space program is comparable. On Aug. 16, 1960, as research for the then-fledgling U. S. space program, Air Force Captain Joseph Kittinger rode a helium balloon to the edge of space, 102,800 feet above the earth, a feat in itself.
Then, wearing just a thin pressure suit and breathing supplemental oxygen, he leaned over the cramped confines of his gondola and jumped -- into the 110-degree-below-zero, near-vacuum of space. Within seconds his body accelerated to 714 mph in the thin air, breaking the sound barrier.
After free-falling for more than four and a half minutes, slowed finally by friction from the heavier air below, he felt his parachute open at 14,000 feet, and he coasted gently down to the New Mexico desert floor. Kittinger's feat showed scientists that astronauts could survive the harshness of space with just a pressure suit and that man could eject from aircraft at extreme altitudes and survive.
Upon Kittinger's return to base, a congratulatory telegram was waiting from the Mercury seven astronauts - including Alan Shepard and John Glenn. More than four decades later Kittinger's two world records - the highest parachute jump, and the only man to break the sound barrier without an aircraft and live - still stand. We decided to visit the retired colonel and Aviation Hall of Famer, now 75, at his home in Altamonte Springs, Florida, to recall his historic jump.
FORBES GLOBAL: Take us back to New Mexico and Aug. 16, 1960.
Joe Kittinger: We got up at 2 am to start filling the helium balloon. At sea level, it was 35 to 40 feet wide and 200 feet high; at altitude, due to the low air pressure, it expanded to 25 stories in width, and still was 20 stories high!
At 4 am I began breathing pure oxygen for two hours. That's how long it takes to remove all the nitrogen from your blood so you don't get the bends going so high so fast. Then it was a lengthy dress procedure layering warm clothing under my pressure suit. They kept me in air-conditioning until it was time to launch because we were in the desert and I wasn't supposed to sweat. If I did, my clothes would freeze on the way up.
How was your ascent?
It took an hour and a half to get to altitude. It was cold. At 40,000 feet, the glove on my right hand hadn't inflated. I knew that if I radioed my doctor, he would abort the flight. If that happened, I knew I might never get another chance because there were lots of people who didn't want this test to happen.
I took a calculated risk, that I might lose use of my right hand. It quickly swelled up, and I did lose use for the duration of the flight. But the rest of the pressure suit worked. When I reached 102,800 feet, maximum altitude, I wasn't quite over the target.
So I drifted for 11 minutes. The winds were out of the east. What's it look like from so high up? You can see about 400 miles in every direction. The formula is 1.25 x the sq. root of the altitude in thousands of feet. (The square root of 102,000 ft is 319 X 1.25 = 399 miles) The most fascinating thing is that it's just black overhead--the transition from normal blue to black is very stark. You can't see stars because there's a lot of glare from the sun, so your pupils are too small. I was struck with the beauty of it. But I was also struck by how hostile it is: more than 100 degrees below zero, no air. If my protection suit failed, I would be dead in a few seconds. Blood actually boils above 62, 000 feet.
I went through my 46-step checklist, disconnected from the balloons power supply and lost all communication with the ground. I was totally under power from the kit on my back. When everything was done, I stood up, turned around to the door, took one final look out and said a silent prayer: "Lord, take care of me now." Then I just jumped over the side.
What were you thinking as you took that step?
It's the beginning of a test. I had gone through simulations many times--more than 100. I rolled over and looked up, and there was the balloon just roaring into space. I realized that the balloon wasn't roaring into space; I was going down at a fantastic rate! At about 90,000 feet, I reached 714 mph.
The altimeter on my wrist was unwinding very rapidly. But there was no sense of speed. Where you determine speed is visual--if you see something go flashing by. But nothing flashes by 20 miles up--there are no signposts there, and you are way above any clouds. When the chute opened, the rest of the jump was anticlimactic because everything had worked perfectly. I landed 12 or 13 minutes later, and there was my crew waiting. We were elated.
How about your right hand?
It hurt--there was quite a bit of swelling and the blood pressure in my arm was high. But that went away in a few days, and I regained full use of my hand.
What about attempts to break your record?
We did it for air crews and astronauts--for the learning, not to set a record.
They will be going up as skydivers. Somebody will beat it someday. Records are made to be broken.. And I'll be elated. But I'll also be concerned that they're properly trained. If they're not, they're taking a heck of a risk.
Dear Dad
Dear Dad
Letter home from school...
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
A week later..... a letter from "home"
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Letter home from school...
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
A week later..... a letter from "home"
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Useful Military Warnings
Useful Military Warnings
"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
(And lastly)
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - U.S. Ammo Troop
"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
(And lastly)
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - U.S. Ammo Troop
Sunday, November 20, 2011
must a woman be able to cook to be a -real- woman?
I am so tired of hearing about how men want a woman who can cook.
I have tried to learn how to cook for the past 35 years.... I am SORRY BUT I CANNOT cook!!
Oh I know how to make things and can follow a recipe but it does not turn out well. edible... eh, yeah but tasty? not really tantalizing taste buds.
I mean really, what is it with the so called women's work anyhow?
why not simply look for someone to complete you?
or even better, someone to SHARE your life? and if that someone cannot cook either at least you will suffer together!
I have tried to learn how to cook for the past 35 years.... I am SORRY BUT I CANNOT cook!!
Oh I know how to make things and can follow a recipe but it does not turn out well. edible... eh, yeah but tasty? not really tantalizing taste buds.
I mean really, what is it with the so called women's work anyhow?
why not simply look for someone to complete you?
or even better, someone to SHARE your life? and if that someone cannot cook either at least you will suffer together!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
what would happen if....
corporations decided to no longer sell their products in America?
The occupiers would have -won- but I would LOVE to see their faces when they realize their Ipads and Ipones no longer worked.
After all, I would not be where I was no longer wanted...
what about you?
The occupiers would have -won- but I would LOVE to see their faces when they realize their Ipads and Ipones no longer worked.
After all, I would not be where I was no longer wanted...
what about you?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Found a little blog today HERE and there were some interesting questions asked, so I thought I'd share my answers.
Questions
1. Where would you take the blogger group for a chat, if they came to your house?
Well we could sit in my kitchen but I do not have a kitchen table yet. We could sit in the living room but I do not have a couch yet. So I guess we would have to sit on my nice big front porch or we could start a fire in the back yard and sit in camping chairs and the hammock and roast marshmallows, drink drinks, play some music.... all AFTER I managed to convince that they would be LEARNING by working in my raised beds! lol!
2. How do you handle "toxic people"? They're the ones that are very difficult to be around and generally don't bring out the best in us.
I become THEM to THEM. Takers HATE being mistaken for givers. I know, I'm mean. lol! But what can I say? it's fun to watch them run away and I do not have to deal with any of the stress of trying to avoid them.
3. In high school, were you the athlete, the cheerleader (actual or just your personality), the geek, the social butterfly, or lost?
I was and still unique. none of the above, I associated with all those groups and usually got along with everyone. There were only two girls in high school I did not get along with and to this day I am sure it was because they were jealous of me. lol! Jealous because I got along with everyone and they were absolute snobs and could NOT understand why anyone of THEIR friends and "status" could even begin to lower themselves to admit I existed. However, I was tickled that my mere presence seems to send them off into fits. It was very empowering. Why they allowed me that type of power over them, I do not know. But I did take full advantage of it and tormented them every chance I got.
4. What's your favorite thing made from apples?
fried apple pies. I wish I could make them like Mrs. Vozel use to.
5. Do you do most of your shopping in stores or online?
UGH! in stores. But Amazon is quickly becoming my new "go to" place for those things I do not need immediately.
Questions
1. Where would you take the blogger group for a chat, if they came to your house?
Well we could sit in my kitchen but I do not have a kitchen table yet. We could sit in the living room but I do not have a couch yet. So I guess we would have to sit on my nice big front porch or we could start a fire in the back yard and sit in camping chairs and the hammock and roast marshmallows, drink drinks, play some music.... all AFTER I managed to convince that they would be LEARNING by working in my raised beds! lol!
2. How do you handle "toxic people"? They're the ones that are very difficult to be around and generally don't bring out the best in us.
I become THEM to THEM. Takers HATE being mistaken for givers. I know, I'm mean. lol! But what can I say? it's fun to watch them run away and I do not have to deal with any of the stress of trying to avoid them.
3. In high school, were you the athlete, the cheerleader (actual or just your personality), the geek, the social butterfly, or lost?
I was and still unique. none of the above, I associated with all those groups and usually got along with everyone. There were only two girls in high school I did not get along with and to this day I am sure it was because they were jealous of me. lol! Jealous because I got along with everyone and they were absolute snobs and could NOT understand why anyone of THEIR friends and "status" could even begin to lower themselves to admit I existed. However, I was tickled that my mere presence seems to send them off into fits. It was very empowering. Why they allowed me that type of power over them, I do not know. But I did take full advantage of it and tormented them every chance I got.
4. What's your favorite thing made from apples?
fried apple pies. I wish I could make them like Mrs. Vozel use to.
5. Do you do most of your shopping in stores or online?
UGH! in stores. But Amazon is quickly becoming my new "go to" place for those things I do not need immediately.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
blonde vs lawyer
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Cash no longer king, more like a red headed step child:
This summer, the State Legislature and Governor of Louisiana passed a law that bans individuals and businesses from transacting in cash if they are considered a “secondhand dealer”. House Bill 195 of the 2011 Regular Session (Act 389) broadly defines a secondhand dealer to include “… Anyone, other than a non-profit entity, who buys, sells, trades in or otherwise acquires or disposes of junk or used or secondhand property more frequently than once per month from any other person, other than a non-profit entity, shall be deemed as being in the business of a secondhand dealer. ” The law then states that “A secondhand dealer shall not enter into any cash transactions in payment for the purchase of junk or used or secondhand property.
more at the site, just click the words above. But hey, if they are going to strong arm lemonade stands of little girls, I am not surprised at this.
more at the site, just click the words above. But hey, if they are going to strong arm lemonade stands of little girls, I am not surprised at this.
Charities and where your donations really go:
As you open your pockets for the next natural disaster, please keep these facts in mind:
The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses.
The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits.
UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE. Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause!
The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause!
The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Disabled American Veterans National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Military Order of Purple Hearts National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Vietnam Veterans Association National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses.
The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits.
UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE. Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause!
The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause!
The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Disabled American Veterans National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Military Order of Purple Hearts National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Vietnam Veterans Association National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
Friday, October 14, 2011
redneck church
Redneck Church
1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if....
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.
4. You K now You're in a Redneck Church if...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub..
10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14.. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".
1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if....
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.
4. You K now You're in a Redneck Church if...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub..
10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14.. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".
Friday, October 7, 2011
This lady is funny
teenage daughter vs mother
never send a man to the grocery store with a numbered list
if you go to youtube, she has a few more videos
never send a man to the grocery store with a numbered list
if you go to youtube, she has a few more videos
Change your Underwear
Change your Underwear
There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors and afterward told the first mate
that his men smelled bad...
The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if his men changed underwear occasionally.
The first mate responded,
"Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced,
"The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."
He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski
and Brown, you change with Schultz."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Someone may come along and promise "Change",
but Don't count on things smelling any better!
There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors and afterward told the first mate
that his men smelled bad...
The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if his men changed underwear occasionally.
The first mate responded,
"Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced,
"The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."
He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski
and Brown, you change with Schultz."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Someone may come along and promise "Change",
but Don't count on things smelling any better!
Life before computers
Life Before Computers
Memory was something you lost with age.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was on a piano.
A web was a spiders home.
A virus was the flu.
A CD was a bank account.
A hard drive was a long road trip.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
If you had a 3½ inch floppy, you just hoped nobody found out.
Memory was something you lost with age.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was on a piano.
A web was a spiders home.
A virus was the flu.
A CD was a bank account.
A hard drive was a long road trip.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
If you had a 3½ inch floppy, you just hoped nobody found out.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15.
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you R supposed to have a strong mind:
7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.
I could read all but one word but I figure it's because I'm a tad dyslexic :)
7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.
I could read all but one word but I figure it's because I'm a tad dyslexic :)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I have added a new button
I added a new link via a cute little 'button' over there (points to the right).
It is for the blog "Front Porch Indiana" and you should really go check it out. She has some of the MOST adorable "children".
By "children" I mean: sheep and alpacas. Very cute.
It is for the blog "Front Porch Indiana" and you should really go check it out. She has some of the MOST adorable "children".
By "children" I mean: sheep and alpacas. Very cute.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
A little scientific humor
another email from my MOM!!!
CAUTION: MAY CAUSE DRINK TO BLOW OUT YOUR NOSE SO DRINK WISELY!
A little scientific humor for you.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home ; maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone!
(and God love that pig!)
CAUTION: MAY CAUSE DRINK TO BLOW OUT YOUR NOSE SO DRINK WISELY!
A little scientific humor for you.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home ; maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone!
(and God love that pig!)
Monday, October 3, 2011
U.S. Tax Revenue Understood
Rural Revolution had this on her blog today and I thought I would snag it and share; it really puts the US budget in perspective.
U.S. Tax Revenue Understood
U.S. Tax Revenue: $2,170,000,000,000 (trillion)
Federal Budget: $3,820,000,000,000 (trillion)
New Debt: $1,650,000,000,000 (trillion)
National Debt: $14,271,000,000,000 (trillion)
Recent budget cut: $38,500,000,000 (billion)
Now let's remove eight zeros and pretend it's a household budget.
Annual family income: $21,700
Money the family spent: $38,200
New debt on the credit card: $16,500
Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710
Total budget cuts: $385
NOW does it make sense?
U.S. Tax Revenue Understood
U.S. Tax Revenue: $2,170,000,000,000 (trillion)
Federal Budget: $3,820,000,000,000 (trillion)
New Debt: $1,650,000,000,000 (trillion)
National Debt: $14,271,000,000,000 (trillion)
Recent budget cut: $38,500,000,000 (billion)
Now let's remove eight zeros and pretend it's a household budget.
Annual family income: $21,700
Money the family spent: $38,200
New debt on the credit card: $16,500
Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710
Total budget cuts: $385
NOW does it make sense?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Texting for Seniors
Teens have theirs, now seniors have their own texting codes.
I thought the following listing was appropriate ... after all the kids have
all their little codes...like BFF, LOL, etc. So here are some codes for
seniors:
* ATD - At the Doctor's
* BFF - Best Friends Funeral
* BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
* CBM - Covered by Medicare
* CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
* DWI - Driving While Incontinent
* FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
* FYI - Found Your Insulin
* GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
* GHA - Got Heartburn Again
* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
* IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
* LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
* LOL - Living on Lipitor
* LWO - Lawrence Welk's On
* OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
* OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
* ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
* TOT - Texting on Toilet
* TTYL - Talk to You Louder
* WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
* WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
* WTP - Where're the Prunes
* WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in)
I thought the following listing was appropriate ... after all the kids have
all their little codes...like BFF, LOL, etc. So here are some codes for
seniors:
* ATD - At the Doctor's
* BFF - Best Friends Funeral
* BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
* CBM - Covered by Medicare
* CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
* DWI - Driving While Incontinent
* FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
* FYI - Found Your Insulin
* GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
* GHA - Got Heartburn Again
* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
* IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
* LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
* LOL - Living on Lipitor
* LWO - Lawrence Welk's On
* OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
* OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
* ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
* TOT - Texting on Toilet
* TTYL - Talk to You Louder
* WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
* WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again
* WTP - Where're the Prunes
* WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Only by prescription....
A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist said 'Lord have mercy! that's against the law! Absolutely not!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY
EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden,God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going ?' inquired God.
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem..
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.
'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
' Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation ?'
'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'
God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this ? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob ?'
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than the rib story ?
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden,God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going ?' inquired God.
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem..
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.
'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
' Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation ?'
'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'
God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this ? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob ?'
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than the rib story ?
Sunday, September 18, 2011
a joke: do not be drinking when reading
A black guy, a white guy, a Christian, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What can I get you, Mr. President?"
The bartender says "What can I get you, Mr. President?"
Taxes
TAXES
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he ' s fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for
peanuts anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won ' t be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He ' s good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he ' s laid...
Put these words
Upon his tomb,
' Taxes drove me
to my doom... '
When he ' s gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom, if agreed, stayed home to raise the kids.
What in the heck happened? Can you spell ' politicians? '
I wonder what our forefathers would do.... oh wait, I ALREADY KNOW what they DID!!!
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he ' s fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for
peanuts anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won ' t be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He ' s good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he ' s laid...
Put these words
Upon his tomb,
' Taxes drove me
to my doom... '
When he ' s gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom, if agreed, stayed home to raise the kids.
What in the heck happened? Can you spell ' politicians? '
I wonder what our forefathers would do.... oh wait, I ALREADY KNOW what they DID!!!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
todays phrase:
Spend your values
now I think one could take this either way:
spend them as in -get rid of them
or
spend them as in -practicing them
I will go with the second :)
now I think one could take this either way:
spend them as in -get rid of them
or
spend them as in -practicing them
I will go with the second :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Yes it is 11 Sept 11
I so do not want to do a run of the mill "I remember where I was ten years ago" blog entry.
EVERYONE is doing that and I would feel like I was simply being PC or doing it because everyone is.
And really how can so many lives taken be justified or memorialized in a way worthy? How can I, who was over a 1000 miles away even begin to comprehend the pain of the loss? How could any words I type ease anyone at all?
I do know I am totally pissed off that POLITICS have made a mockery of those fallen lives.
So I sit here and think. And I realize two important things:
1) Death is indeed an enemy
2) God has an app for that!
1 Cor 15:26 As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing.
So I hope. I hope for all those who have suffered the loss of their loved ones that they will see those very loved ones again.
And I love. I love MY own loved ones each and every day to the fullest and I TELL THEM AND SHOW THEM.
And I will remind. Remind those who have lost loved ones of the words inspired by God:
1 Thess 4:13 Moreover, brothers, we do not want YOU to be ignorant concerning those who are sleeping [in death]; that YOU may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope. 14 For if our faith is that Jesus died and rose again, so, too, those who have fallen asleep [in death] through Jesus -God will bring with him.
16 because the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a commanding call, with an archangel’s voice and with God’s trumpet, and those who are dead in union with Christ will rise first.
John 5:28 Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out,
May all have the hope and peace that surpasses all understanding.
EVERYONE is doing that and I would feel like I was simply being PC or doing it because everyone is.
And really how can so many lives taken be justified or memorialized in a way worthy? How can I, who was over a 1000 miles away even begin to comprehend the pain of the loss? How could any words I type ease anyone at all?
I do know I am totally pissed off that POLITICS have made a mockery of those fallen lives.
So I sit here and think. And I realize two important things:
1) Death is indeed an enemy
2) God has an app for that!
1 Cor 15:26 As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing.
So I hope. I hope for all those who have suffered the loss of their loved ones that they will see those very loved ones again.
And I love. I love MY own loved ones each and every day to the fullest and I TELL THEM AND SHOW THEM.
And I will remind. Remind those who have lost loved ones of the words inspired by God:
1 Thess 4:13 Moreover, brothers, we do not want YOU to be ignorant concerning those who are sleeping [in death]; that YOU may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope. 14 For if our faith is that Jesus died and rose again, so, too, those who have fallen asleep [in death] through Jesus -God will bring with him.
16 because the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a commanding call, with an archangel’s voice and with God’s trumpet, and those who are dead in union with Christ will rise first.
John 5:28 Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out,
May all have the hope and peace that surpasses all understanding.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Kids Fined $500 for Unpermitted Lemonade Stand
Every summer thousands of kids across the U.S. earn a little pocket change and learn a bit about business by setting up lemonade stands in their front yards. They may cause traffic to slow down a touch, but most of them don't do any real damage. That's why some Montgomery County, Md., residents are so outraged over county officials fining the parents of some industrious local kids for failing to get a vendors license for their lemonade stand.
and guess what they were selling the lemonade FOR??? Charity: pediatric cancer.
seriously the world has indeed gone mad. We have ALL the mongrels in Washington as corrupt as a three dollar bill and they have to hassle kids trying to DO GOOD.
It is things like this that make me want to become a vigilante.
and guess what they were selling the lemonade FOR??? Charity: pediatric cancer.
seriously the world has indeed gone mad. We have ALL the mongrels in Washington as corrupt as a three dollar bill and they have to hassle kids trying to DO GOOD.
It is things like this that make me want to become a vigilante.
New little fun tidbits
For me anyways! lol! I unpacked my word magnets for the fridge and was playing around with them. So each week I think I will post a short sentence which I made out of the words.
This weeks: Respect your responsibility to knowledge
Now feel free to discuss what these little sayings make you think about. I hope they at least get your mind a crankin'!
have a great day! :D
This weeks: Respect your responsibility to knowledge
Now feel free to discuss what these little sayings make you think about. I hope they at least get your mind a crankin'!
have a great day! :D
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Some questions to test your logic abilities
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
I will put the answers in the comment section, that is IF you need them.... lol!
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
I will put the answers in the comment section, that is IF you need them.... lol!
Friday, September 2, 2011
We are a Dramatic species
I have come to the conclusion that we humans live for drama. Oh but you say -I do NOT want drama! And I have said that a bizillion times myself. So my only conclusion can be, we draw drama, whether we like it or not and thus we must somehow NEED the drama.
And so being who I am, I thunk deeper and realized (yes I may be a bit slower than some of ya out there on this) that drama provides challenge. Since we (as a species, as a whole) no longer have the challenge of simple every day survival we have to FIND NEW ways for challenge. And yes we NEED that challenge or we will cease to exist as a species.
which brings us close to THIS post I made a few days ago.
I really think we have made this unreal reality to fill that void of what we NEED to survive.
I also think it is a poor substitute for LIFE. So I am going to continue to challenge myself and see if the drama decreases.
And so being who I am, I thunk deeper and realized (yes I may be a bit slower than some of ya out there on this) that drama provides challenge. Since we (as a species, as a whole) no longer have the challenge of simple every day survival we have to FIND NEW ways for challenge. And yes we NEED that challenge or we will cease to exist as a species.
which brings us close to THIS post I made a few days ago.
I really think we have made this unreal reality to fill that void of what we NEED to survive.
I also think it is a poor substitute for LIFE. So I am going to continue to challenge myself and see if the drama decreases.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Government traveling expenses
If you are wondering just how much our government spends on travel each year, here ya go!
Travel spending by the federal government exceeds $14 billion a year – an amount roughly equivalent to the combined annual revenue of Southwest Airlines Co. and Hyatt Hotels Corp.
I suggest small amounts so you do not blow a vein....
....just saying
Travel spending by the federal government exceeds $14 billion a year – an amount roughly equivalent to the combined annual revenue of Southwest Airlines Co. and Hyatt Hotels Corp.
I suggest small amounts so you do not blow a vein....
....just saying
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Recalls
I get a list of FDA recalls at least once a day -sometimes twice. Got this one today:
Paleteria La Super, Yakima, Washington is voluntarily recalling their NUT, ESQUIMAL, and PINA COLADA flavored ice cream popsicles because they may contain undeclared walnuts, milk, and coconut. People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to walnuts, milk, and coconut run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consume this product.
ok I may be wrong but..... wouldn't "nut" ice cream actually HAVE nuts in it? and wouldn't esquimal ICE CREAM actually HAVE milk in it? and wouldn't Pina Colada FAMOUS for it's coconut?
And wouldn't those who are allergic to such things KNOW by use of common sense, NOT to eat them???
oh yeah, stupidity really is running wild.
Paleteria La Super, Yakima, Washington is voluntarily recalling their NUT, ESQUIMAL, and PINA COLADA flavored ice cream popsicles because they may contain undeclared walnuts, milk, and coconut. People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to walnuts, milk, and coconut run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consume this product.
ok I may be wrong but..... wouldn't "nut" ice cream actually HAVE nuts in it? and wouldn't esquimal ICE CREAM actually HAVE milk in it? and wouldn't Pina Colada FAMOUS for it's coconut?
And wouldn't those who are allergic to such things KNOW by use of common sense, NOT to eat them???
oh yeah, stupidity really is running wild.
Friday, August 26, 2011
How REAL is REAL?
I was in some deep thought today after reading the opening introduction and part of the first chapter of a book I have to read for one of my classes. It's called Trophic Cascades. All about the food chain/web kind of stuff.
Now of all the MILLIONS of species on this earth, it is ONLY Homo sapiens that has made a whole nuther world that is based ....on nothing. "Our" real world is not part of the REAL world at all. Seriously, just think about it.
the ONLY reason money is worth anything is because "man" says it is. Yeah gold is pretty but it only have value is because "man" says so. We build houses, huge cities even and block ourselves from nature so MUCH that people no longer know where our FOOD COMES FROM!
We use so many chemicals, hormones, fertilizers, etc to GROW that food that we don't know what it tastes like "naturally".
or what it looks like.
What really matters in life? Sure people will say "I want to have a happy family" or "I want to be rich" or "I want to be popular" and on and on and on......
We allow ourselves to be bound by taxes and bills and work and stress and rules and regulations and fusses and fights and war and marriages and ...well you get the picture.
And it ALL is simply nothing. Now I'm not talking about the love we feel for our loved ones. THAT is very real. Actually that may be the ONLY real thing we humans actually deal with.
(and yes I know there are those precious few who do live close to nature, I'm a wildlifer myself, lol! I'm talking in general)
I think that "grandmas and grandpas" love to garden so much because they figure out that it's the soil that is real. and I think that is why little kids love to tag along with their grannies and pappies in said gardens because they have not yet figured out how to accept the "nothing".
So are we humans "superior-ly smart" because we have learned to "rise above" nature?
or are we just incredibly dumb for all that wasted effort on nothing?
I, personally, think we are dumb and give KUDOS to those who have figured all this out already.
and who knows maybe if enough of us simply remove ourselves from and ignore this "nothing of value" society; it will simply dissipate into REAL nothingness.
Now of all the MILLIONS of species on this earth, it is ONLY Homo sapiens that has made a whole nuther world that is based ....on nothing. "Our" real world is not part of the REAL world at all. Seriously, just think about it.
the ONLY reason money is worth anything is because "man" says it is. Yeah gold is pretty but it only have value is because "man" says so. We build houses, huge cities even and block ourselves from nature so MUCH that people no longer know where our FOOD COMES FROM!
We use so many chemicals, hormones, fertilizers, etc to GROW that food that we don't know what it tastes like "naturally".
or what it looks like.
What really matters in life? Sure people will say "I want to have a happy family" or "I want to be rich" or "I want to be popular" and on and on and on......
We allow ourselves to be bound by taxes and bills and work and stress and rules and regulations and fusses and fights and war and marriages and ...well you get the picture.
And it ALL is simply nothing. Now I'm not talking about the love we feel for our loved ones. THAT is very real. Actually that may be the ONLY real thing we humans actually deal with.
(and yes I know there are those precious few who do live close to nature, I'm a wildlifer myself, lol! I'm talking in general)
I think that "grandmas and grandpas" love to garden so much because they figure out that it's the soil that is real. and I think that is why little kids love to tag along with their grannies and pappies in said gardens because they have not yet figured out how to accept the "nothing".
So are we humans "superior-ly smart" because we have learned to "rise above" nature?
or are we just incredibly dumb for all that wasted effort on nothing?
I, personally, think we are dumb and give KUDOS to those who have figured all this out already.
and who knows maybe if enough of us simply remove ourselves from and ignore this "nothing of value" society; it will simply dissipate into REAL nothingness.
Friday, August 19, 2011
How to make a woman happy:
How to keep a woman happy . . .
It's really not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a man
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a bug exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35.. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments frequently
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Never stress her
50. Never look at other women!
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space
VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* anniversaries
* her favorite color
* her favorite flower
* her favorite gem
* her favorite fragrance
* her favorite memories
* her favorite holidays
* her favorite friends
* her favorite vacation destinations
* her favorite beverage
* her favorite food
* her favorite alcoholic drink
* her favorite restaurant
* any arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone!!!!!
It's really not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a man
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a bug exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35.. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments frequently
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Never stress her
50. Never look at other women!
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space
VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* anniversaries
* her favorite color
* her favorite flower
* her favorite gem
* her favorite fragrance
* her favorite memories
* her favorite holidays
* her favorite friends
* her favorite vacation destinations
* her favorite beverage
* her favorite food
* her favorite alcoholic drink
* her favorite restaurant
* any arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone!!!!!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
the right thing
I have been involved in an very interesting conversation. I have to admit, I do like playing devils advocate just to see how far I can push the topic and make people think outside their boxes though.
So I have been on a religious forum and the topic came up about the man who has just been sentenced to 20 years and who is the leader of one of the fundamentalist religions that think it is ok to marry 12 year old girls and have many wives. I'm sure you know who I am talking about. Now the forum has a rule: DO NOT QUESTION anyone's belief.
Anyways, one of the posters began the thread to show just what hypocrites some of the people on the board are. After all, they do demand that everyone accept THEIR beliefs and drop any that do not agree with them. They also attack any who disagree. So basically they break the rule whenever they want but will whine and cry when someone breaks the rule and questions their beliefs.
So he brought up the idea of what is right or wrong. The man had the permission of the fathers of the girls he married and was going to marry. So IF it had been legal in this country to marry a 12 year old and have many wives; would it have been right to do so? why or why not. (in some eastern countries, this is legal and encouraged) And most importantly (the whole purpose of the thread) who are we to question the mans beliefs? (remember the forum does have that rule: NO QUESTIONING)
If something is NOT illegal, why cannot someone practice something that is their belief? And if someone worships God and feels he is commanded by God to live a certain way, should he obey God or man?
Now the man who was just sentenced (supposedly) believes he was living according to the God he serves. (the question of how old girls were in the bible when they married was also raised, and everyone pretty much agreed that Mary -Jesus' mother, was about 12)
So many posted (myself included) that God made marriage for one man and one woman, and gave the verses which state this. No one seemed to mention the fact that the Israelites were allowed to marry more than one woman, which was mostly due to someone dying and leaving no heir so their brother (or relative) would marry the widow to give an heir....
Everyone jumped on the pedophile band wagon and demanded the man was wrong and is beliefs were wrong. How DARE they question his beliefs! (sarcasm there folks)
Yet they all had seemed to agree woman married young in the bible. Are you seeing the hypocrisy?
I am very much against any one marrying someone so young, I think we should all wait until we are 30 (esp my daughters!). But where do I get this sense of wrongness?
Many will say they get their sense of right and wrong from God/bible. Atheists will say they just -know- what is right or wrong. Then we have laws of the land which tell us what is right or wrong. Society and culture also dictate the rules of morality.
But face it. we ALL know what is the right thing to do IF we are honest with OURSELVES. We ALL have that little voice within us that says -no no no! or yes. Unless we purposely do wrong so many times we actually squash that voice.
Yes we are all born with a conscience. It is just too bad and sad so many no longer use theirs!
Yes we ALL are able to know what is right, we just have to do it.
So I have been on a religious forum and the topic came up about the man who has just been sentenced to 20 years and who is the leader of one of the fundamentalist religions that think it is ok to marry 12 year old girls and have many wives. I'm sure you know who I am talking about. Now the forum has a rule: DO NOT QUESTION anyone's belief.
Anyways, one of the posters began the thread to show just what hypocrites some of the people on the board are. After all, they do demand that everyone accept THEIR beliefs and drop any that do not agree with them. They also attack any who disagree. So basically they break the rule whenever they want but will whine and cry when someone breaks the rule and questions their beliefs.
So he brought up the idea of what is right or wrong. The man had the permission of the fathers of the girls he married and was going to marry. So IF it had been legal in this country to marry a 12 year old and have many wives; would it have been right to do so? why or why not. (in some eastern countries, this is legal and encouraged) And most importantly (the whole purpose of the thread) who are we to question the mans beliefs? (remember the forum does have that rule: NO QUESTIONING)
If something is NOT illegal, why cannot someone practice something that is their belief? And if someone worships God and feels he is commanded by God to live a certain way, should he obey God or man?
Now the man who was just sentenced (supposedly) believes he was living according to the God he serves. (the question of how old girls were in the bible when they married was also raised, and everyone pretty much agreed that Mary -Jesus' mother, was about 12)
So many posted (myself included) that God made marriage for one man and one woman, and gave the verses which state this. No one seemed to mention the fact that the Israelites were allowed to marry more than one woman, which was mostly due to someone dying and leaving no heir so their brother (or relative) would marry the widow to give an heir....
Everyone jumped on the pedophile band wagon and demanded the man was wrong and is beliefs were wrong. How DARE they question his beliefs! (sarcasm there folks)
Yet they all had seemed to agree woman married young in the bible. Are you seeing the hypocrisy?
I am very much against any one marrying someone so young, I think we should all wait until we are 30 (esp my daughters!). But where do I get this sense of wrongness?
Many will say they get their sense of right and wrong from God/bible. Atheists will say they just -know- what is right or wrong. Then we have laws of the land which tell us what is right or wrong. Society and culture also dictate the rules of morality.
But face it. we ALL know what is the right thing to do IF we are honest with OURSELVES. We ALL have that little voice within us that says -no no no! or yes. Unless we purposely do wrong so many times we actually squash that voice.
Yes we are all born with a conscience. It is just too bad and sad so many no longer use theirs!
Yes we ALL are able to know what is right, we just have to do it.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Today I read a blog and feel you also would like it
HERE IS THE LINK
Just click the link and go read. I will wait.
Was that not a beautiful and encouraging and eye-opening blog? I will be adding this blog to my list. Right after I find my tissue!
Just click the link and go read. I will wait.
Was that not a beautiful and encouraging and eye-opening blog? I will be adding this blog to my list. Right after I find my tissue!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Thank you!
I would like to thank everyone that stops by and checks out my little blog. I was looking at my statistics today and saw that I have visitors from Russia, India, Germany, the Philippines, United Kingdom, the United States of America, and Latvia!
I am humbled by your attention! I am fascinated by the places where the people come from who visit me....trying to picture just who you may be, what your likes and dislikes are, how you live; are you poor like me or poorer or super rich just passing time, are you a guy or girl, what is your favorite color, are you a dog person or a cat person, do you live in a city or town or the country side, did you just stumble across my blog or are you a regular reader, what kinds of things are important to you, are you married or single, do you have kids, are you lonely or do you have tons of friends, are you happy or sad right now, and did I make you smile today or go on a rant .....all these things and more.
I hope I can keep writing about things you find as interesting as I do! And again I thank you very much for stopping by!
I am humbled by your attention! I am fascinated by the places where the people come from who visit me....trying to picture just who you may be, what your likes and dislikes are, how you live; are you poor like me or poorer or super rich just passing time, are you a guy or girl, what is your favorite color, are you a dog person or a cat person, do you live in a city or town or the country side, did you just stumble across my blog or are you a regular reader, what kinds of things are important to you, are you married or single, do you have kids, are you lonely or do you have tons of friends, are you happy or sad right now, and did I make you smile today or go on a rant .....all these things and more.
I hope I can keep writing about things you find as interesting as I do! And again I thank you very much for stopping by!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
saw this on another blog today and wanted to share:
John and Mary, a young couple, had just moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Mary sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside to dry.
"That laundry is not very clean" Mary scoffed. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
John looked on, but remained silent.
Every time Mary's neighbor would hang her wash out to dry, Mary would make the same comments.
About a month later, Mary was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her?"
John replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.
Author Unknown
"That laundry is not very clean" Mary scoffed. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
John looked on, but remained silent.
Every time Mary's neighbor would hang her wash out to dry, Mary would make the same comments.
About a month later, Mary was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her?"
John replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.
Author Unknown
Thank you America
THANK YOU
AMERICA!
Dear American Taxpayer
For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain.
My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time.
Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500.00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury hotel.
Thank you also for the use of Air Force Two and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times. By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol, I highly recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant in Marbella; great lobster with rice and oysters! I'm ashamed to admit the lobsters we ate in Martha's Vineyard were not quite as tasty, but what can you do if you're not in Europe, you have to just grin and bear it?
Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate according to Government Accounting Office reports) only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates, but they are close. That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.
I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon.
I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few
days.
Cordially,
Michelle (Moochelle) Obama
P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip
to India from which we just returned!
P.SS. Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to Martha's Vineyard; it was fabulous.
And thanks for that second smaller jet that took our dog Bo to Martha's Vineyard so we and the children could have him with us while we were away from the White House for eleven days. After all, we couldn't take him on Air Force One because he might pee on some wires or something.
P.SSS. Oh, I almost forgot to say thanks also for our two-week trip to Hawaii at Christmas. That 7,000 square foot house was great!
Love ya!
Remember we all have to share the pain of these economic times equally! Love to -redistribute- share- the
wealth.
AMERICA!
Dear American Taxpayer
For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain.
My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time.
Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500.00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury hotel.
Thank you also for the use of Air Force Two and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times. By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol, I highly recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant in Marbella; great lobster with rice and oysters! I'm ashamed to admit the lobsters we ate in Martha's Vineyard were not quite as tasty, but what can you do if you're not in Europe, you have to just grin and bear it?
Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate according to Government Accounting Office reports) only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates, but they are close. That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.
I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon.
I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few
days.
Cordially,
Michelle (Moochelle) Obama
P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip
to India from which we just returned!
P.SS. Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to Martha's Vineyard; it was fabulous.
And thanks for that second smaller jet that took our dog Bo to Martha's Vineyard so we and the children could have him with us while we were away from the White House for eleven days. After all, we couldn't take him on Air Force One because he might pee on some wires or something.
P.SSS. Oh, I almost forgot to say thanks also for our two-week trip to Hawaii at Christmas. That 7,000 square foot house was great!
Love ya!
Remember we all have to share the pain of these economic times equally! Love to -redistribute- share- the
wealth.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Advice for retired men
ADVICE FROM PETER - A RETIRED HUSBAND
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
Now when you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some women are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Peter and let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lesley to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
However shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I couldn’t help but notice as I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. Now I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. As I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, eating out, for us, is not reasonable and I'm ready for some home-cooked food when I hit that door.
After we had eaten she used to do the dishes as soon as we finished but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.
I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of her getting older is her complaining, I think. As an example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.
Come on now lads, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When she is doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
Like for instance when she was mowing the lawn she had to take a break when she was only half-finished. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.
After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
PLEASE NOTE:
Peter, died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer lying nearby.
His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Peter, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
Now when you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some women are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Peter and let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lesley to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
However shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I couldn’t help but notice as I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. Now I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. As I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, eating out, for us, is not reasonable and I'm ready for some home-cooked food when I hit that door.
After we had eaten she used to do the dishes as soon as we finished but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.
I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of her getting older is her complaining, I think. As an example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.
Come on now lads, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When she is doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
Like for instance when she was mowing the lawn she had to take a break when she was only half-finished. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.
After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
PLEASE NOTE:
Peter, died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer lying nearby.
His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Peter, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
baby pills made out of ....babies
It is bad enough to murder the babies, now they trick people into ingesting them.
THE DISGUSTING STORY HERE
I am so disgusted
THE DISGUSTING STORY HERE
I am so disgusted
Friday, August 12, 2011
some politics
So I managed to stumble across the large republican debate tonight and wow did it get feisty! Did you see it? I'm sure you'll see tidbits here and there in the news.
I wonder how a ticket would do with Palin and Bachmann....hhmmmmm.
However, I did notice how they (those asking the questions) managed to still be sexist towards Bachmann. Seriously, they would never EVER mention anything to any of the men about thinking with their penis which is equivalent to asking her if she would still be submissive to her husband as president. I think she handled it well though.
I would have asked the men -have you ever or would you ever tweet a picture of your penis?
well enough of this from me, I am just rambling cause I cannot sleep ...again
I wonder how a ticket would do with Palin and Bachmann....hhmmmmm.
However, I did notice how they (those asking the questions) managed to still be sexist towards Bachmann. Seriously, they would never EVER mention anything to any of the men about thinking with their penis which is equivalent to asking her if she would still be submissive to her husband as president. I think she handled it well though.
I would have asked the men -have you ever or would you ever tweet a picture of your penis?
well enough of this from me, I am just rambling cause I cannot sleep ...again
another rocker bites the dust
This is sad, I LIKED all the big hair bands and now another lead singer dies.
Jani Lane, the former lead singer of the rock group Warrant, was found dead in a Los Angeles-area hotel Thursday night, TMZ reported.
His body was found at the Comfort Inn in Woodland Hills, but no cause of death has been released.
Jani Lane, the former lead singer of the rock group Warrant, was found dead in a Los Angeles-area hotel Thursday night, TMZ reported.
His body was found at the Comfort Inn in Woodland Hills, but no cause of death has been released.
The Hermit has.....
an interesting story on his blog today about
True story from a Kansas State Highway Patrol officer
you have GOT to go and read it. :)
True story from a Kansas State Highway Patrol officer
you have GOT to go and read it. :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Bank robbing siblings caught
I use to LIVE in Walsenburg! wow! would still be there if possible! loved it!
STORY HERE!
Three fugitive siblings accused of crimes in Florida and Georgia were arrested Wednesday following a car crash in southern Colorado, Fox News has confirmed.
Ryan Dougherty, 21, Dylan Dougherty, 26 and their sister, Lee Grace Doughtery, 29, were taken into custody after a "short pursuit" on Interstate 25 near Walsenburg, roughly 50 miles north of the New Mexico state line, according to the Colorado State Patrol.
Man, I missed all the excitement! (maybe a good thing!)
STORY HERE!
Three fugitive siblings accused of crimes in Florida and Georgia were arrested Wednesday following a car crash in southern Colorado, Fox News has confirmed.
Ryan Dougherty, 21, Dylan Dougherty, 26 and their sister, Lee Grace Doughtery, 29, were taken into custody after a "short pursuit" on Interstate 25 near Walsenburg, roughly 50 miles north of the New Mexico state line, according to the Colorado State Patrol.
Man, I missed all the excitement! (maybe a good thing!)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Ponder on these:
1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3· Life is sexually transmitted.
4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it Normal .
11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
12· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever Comes out'?
13· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
14· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
15· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
16· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
19· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
feel free to add any....
2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3· Life is sexually transmitted.
4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it Normal .
11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
12· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever Comes out'?
13· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
14· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
15· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
16· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
19· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
feel free to add any....
Friday, August 5, 2011
US credit downgraded!
despite the fact we were told the deal would prevent it. Are YOU surprised? I am not!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
46% Dixie. Barely in Yankeedom.
LOL! I took a little quiz to determine if I was a Yankee or Dixie Rebel.
HERE IS THE SITE
cute little quiz. Since I have lived all over the country, it was pretty accurate I think. I consider myself the best blend of both.
:)
HERE IS THE SITE
cute little quiz. Since I have lived all over the country, it was pretty accurate I think. I consider myself the best blend of both.
:)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE
LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know crap?"
And then she went back to reading her book.
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know crap?"
And then she went back to reading her book.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
The Attorney
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, an officer in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.
(keep reading)
"My Rolex!"
Fortunately, an officer in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.
(keep reading)
"My Rolex!"
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Catman had a great blog today
You should go check it out. But there are MANY links so you should plan on spending more than five minutes there.
CATMAN'S LITTERBOX: THE NEW DEAL
He said it pretty well.
CATMAN'S LITTERBOX: THE NEW DEAL
He said it pretty well.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
"do as I say, not as I do"
or so it seems with the "King":
Swaziland's King Mswati III called Friday for his male subjects to get circumcised as he endorsed a campaign aimed at tackling the world's highest HIV infection rate.
.....Mswati did not say Friday whether he intended to get circumcised himself.
READ THE WHOLE STORY HERE!
Why am I thinking this will NOT work????
Swaziland's King Mswati III called Friday for his male subjects to get circumcised as he endorsed a campaign aimed at tackling the world's highest HIV infection rate.
.....Mswati did not say Friday whether he intended to get circumcised himself.
READ THE WHOLE STORY HERE!
Why am I thinking this will NOT work????
a very good reason to not have multiple sexual partners!
Is America ready for the SUPER CLAP?
Gonorrhea, commonly called “the clap,” has long been a notoriously widespread but easily treatable sexually transmitted disease. But according to researchers presenting findings at a meeting of the International Society for Sexually Transmitted Disease Research in Quebec, “easily treatable” may no longer apply. For the first time, a drug-resistant strain of gonorrhea has been identified, and fears are growing that it’s spreading fast.
Makes me VERY glad I do not screw around!!!! Cause one NEVER knows just who everyone has been having sex with! (you do know that everyone LIES about who and how many, right?)
Gonorrhea, commonly called “the clap,” has long been a notoriously widespread but easily treatable sexually transmitted disease. But according to researchers presenting findings at a meeting of the International Society for Sexually Transmitted Disease Research in Quebec, “easily treatable” may no longer apply. For the first time, a drug-resistant strain of gonorrhea has been identified, and fears are growing that it’s spreading fast.
Makes me VERY glad I do not screw around!!!! Cause one NEVER knows just who everyone has been having sex with! (you do know that everyone LIES about who and how many, right?)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
cops bust LEMONADE stand!
Georgia sucks! Have they been sucking on too many lemons?
COPS BUST LEMONADE STAND
That city law requires a business and food permits ($50 a day), even if the stand was at the home of one of the girls....Health issues were also a concern, Morningstar said. "We were not aware of how the lemonade was made, who made the lemonade, of what the lemonade was made with, so we acted accordingly by city ordinance," he said.
There is another link on there where a farmer was sued for growing TOO MANY veggies!
What is wrong with Georgia???
COPS BUST LEMONADE STAND
That city law requires a business and food permits ($50 a day), even if the stand was at the home of one of the girls....Health issues were also a concern, Morningstar said. "We were not aware of how the lemonade was made, who made the lemonade, of what the lemonade was made with, so we acted accordingly by city ordinance," he said.
There is another link on there where a farmer was sued for growing TOO MANY veggies!
What is wrong with Georgia???
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Subject: Becha haven't heard this one.
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 10-year-old Granddaughter
and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"
She said "It's President's Day!"
She is a smart kid.
I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about
Washington or Lincoln ... etc.
She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White
House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"
She said "It's President's Day!"
She is a smart kid.
I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about
Washington or Lincoln ... etc.
She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White
House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
How is YOUR day going?
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?
fix the US budget
Here is a WEBSITE where YOU can set up a budget for the US.
I have been tinkering with it and wonder even MORE why congress cannot get their act together ...oh wait... I know, I AM NOT POWER HUNGRY, GREEDY, OR BRIBABLE! (spell check says that is not a word). I got the site from a blog I read.
Have fun!!!
I have been tinkering with it and wonder even MORE why congress cannot get their act together ...oh wait... I know, I AM NOT POWER HUNGRY, GREEDY, OR BRIBABLE! (spell check says that is not a word). I got the site from a blog I read.
Have fun!!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I am dumb founded
Robber who broke into hair salon is beaten by its black-belt owner and kept as a sex slave for three days... fed only Viagra
A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.
Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.
But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.
She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.
Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.
She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going.
so the guy basically was raped to teach him a lesson. I wonder if he learned anything
A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.
Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.
But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.
She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.
Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.
She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going.
so the guy basically was raped to teach him a lesson. I wonder if he learned anything
Skinny Dipping
An elderly man in Hudson, Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pool in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pool, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
Well...
Some old men can still think fast...
An elderly man in Hudson, Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pool in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pool, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
Well...
Some old men can still think fast...
Monday, July 11, 2011
all the kids are gone
On my block, my little section of this world, there use to be a bit over a half dozen kids running around, making noise, yelling, fighting, you know -things kids do.
Well they are all gone now, just in a couple weeks. all moved away.
it is so quiet now....
it is kinda freaky in a weird sort of way.
These were kids that knew about playing outside... not like most kids that sit in front of the PC or TV ...
it is kinda sad, I cannot believe I miss em
Well they are all gone now, just in a couple weeks. all moved away.
it is so quiet now....
it is kinda freaky in a weird sort of way.
These were kids that knew about playing outside... not like most kids that sit in front of the PC or TV ...
it is kinda sad, I cannot believe I miss em
Sunday, July 10, 2011
$20.3 million to bring "refugees" here
Seems Obama managed to sneak some executive order through:
Federal Register: February 4, 2009 (Volume 74, Number 22)
DOCID: fr04fe09-106 FR Doc E9-2488
Presidential Documents
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement
NOTICE: Part II
DOCID: fr04fe09-106
DOCUMENT SUMMARY:
[[Page 6115]]
Presidential Determination No. 2009-15 of January 27, 2009
Unexpected Urgent Refugee and Migration Needs Related To Gaza
Memorandum for the Secretary of State
By the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, including section 2(c)(1) of the Migration and Refugee Assistance Act of 1962 (the ``Act''), as amended (22 U.S.C. 2601), I hereby determine, pursuant to section 2(c)(1) of the Act, that it is important to the national interest to furnish assistance under the Act in an amount not to exceed $20.3 million from the United States Emergency Refugee and Migration Assistance Fund for the purpose of meeting unexpected and urgent refugee and migration needs, including by contributions to international, governmental, and nongovernmental organizations and payment of administrative expenses of Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration of the Department of State, related to humanitarian needs of Palestinian refugees and conflict victims in Gaza.
click above to read the whole thing. No, I'm not surprised. He has shown he has NO regard for American citizens. $20 million could have done a lot here but then he has also already shown he cannot do anything worthy with $14 trillion.... so what is $20 million?
Federal Register: February 4, 2009 (Volume 74, Number 22)
DOCID: fr04fe09-106 FR Doc E9-2488
Presidential Documents
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement
NOTICE: Part II
DOCID: fr04fe09-106
DOCUMENT SUMMARY:
[[Page 6115]]
Presidential Determination No. 2009-15 of January 27, 2009
Unexpected Urgent Refugee and Migration Needs Related To Gaza
Memorandum for the Secretary of State
By the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, including section 2(c)(1) of the Migration and Refugee Assistance Act of 1962 (the ``Act''), as amended (22 U.S.C. 2601), I hereby determine, pursuant to section 2(c)(1) of the Act, that it is important to the national interest to furnish assistance under the Act in an amount not to exceed $20.3 million from the United States Emergency Refugee and Migration Assistance Fund for the purpose of meeting unexpected and urgent refugee and migration needs, including by contributions to international, governmental, and nongovernmental organizations and payment of administrative expenses of Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration of the Department of State, related to humanitarian needs of Palestinian refugees and conflict victims in Gaza.
click above to read the whole thing. No, I'm not surprised. He has shown he has NO regard for American citizens. $20 million could have done a lot here but then he has also already shown he cannot do anything worthy with $14 trillion.... so what is $20 million?
Never argue with a woman
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The anniversary of our independence is now behind us
235 years old yesterday. That is still pretty young, IMO. Yet some countries only last months or even days. What was it all about? Freedom. Allegedly.
Well Congress got a paid day: FOR ONLY WORKING 25 SECONDS
That just doesn't seem right to me. I wonder if they will pay taxes on that pay? Do they even have to pay income tax? hmmmm, something I really should know.
Anyways, I find it simply IRONIC how much people celebrated yesterday about their "FREEDOM" and how SO many "reminded" us how our troops or our government 'granted us' our freedoms, yet every other day of the year, they don't seem to mind as the government strips us of or tries to bind our freedoms. Sorry folks but the U.S.A. is NOT a free country. No country is really. Fighting wars and shedding blood is not what grants freedom. Our freedom is GOD given, NOT man given. Although we can allow man to bind it or take it. But the question becomes can we really shed blood to KEEP our freedom? (not that we really have it to begin with) OR are these wars and deaths just binding us more with the shed blood now on our hands?
What is freedom? Does it mean we can do whatever we want whenever we want? Seriously, is THAT freedom??? Is it ONLY for those who fight other men for it? Is freedom being locked in battle with your "enemy"?? Is freedom sending our young ones to fight the battle for us??? Is there really freedom from taking another persons life? Just because some of the same "type" of persons have taken lives themselves.....???
Is freedom, going to work each day of the week so that on the weekend you can party? Is freedom working at a job you actually like? Is freedom having your own land (although you have to pay yearly taxes on it), making your own power, growing your own food, and homeschooling your kids??? is THAT freedom??
OR is it KNOWLEDGE of how things REALLY are??? Is THAT freedom?
A famous man once said "the truth shall set you free", yet his followers seem to be the LEAST free people on earth. The TRUTH shall set you free....
The truth shall set you free......
The truth shall set you FREE!
Freedom is NOT about these earthly things, freedom is within us. Knowledge of who we are and how we stand with the God of Christ is what truly sets us free. This is the freedom we experience even when we are imprisoned, beaten, starved, lonely, oppressed, taxed to the hilt by gov, nagged at by spouses, working as factory drones, etc. There are those who are truly FREE in every single country on this planet.
And if we are truly honest with ourselves, we KNOW who these people are that ARE truly free. We see them here and there as we go about our lives. These are the ones with that big warm genuine smile on their face and joy in their hearts. You've seen them. That older lady at the counter of Micky D's or that quiet gentleman at the hardware store. You know that inner peace when you see it. You know the ones I'm talking about.
They have found the TRUTH and have been set FREE. They KNOW that freedom does NOT come from mankind shedding blood on the battle field, but rather the shed blood of just ONE man. They KNOW that freedom is NOT something granted to men by other men, but rather that freedom comes from God. There is no doubt in their minds that all these governments in the world really are irrelevant when compared to the Kingdom of God.
They listened to the Shepard's voice and are following him to his God.
And the truth shall set YOU free.
Well Congress got a paid day: FOR ONLY WORKING 25 SECONDS
That just doesn't seem right to me. I wonder if they will pay taxes on that pay? Do they even have to pay income tax? hmmmm, something I really should know.
Anyways, I find it simply IRONIC how much people celebrated yesterday about their "FREEDOM" and how SO many "reminded" us how our troops or our government 'granted us' our freedoms, yet every other day of the year, they don't seem to mind as the government strips us of or tries to bind our freedoms. Sorry folks but the U.S.A. is NOT a free country. No country is really. Fighting wars and shedding blood is not what grants freedom. Our freedom is GOD given, NOT man given. Although we can allow man to bind it or take it. But the question becomes can we really shed blood to KEEP our freedom? (not that we really have it to begin with) OR are these wars and deaths just binding us more with the shed blood now on our hands?
What is freedom? Does it mean we can do whatever we want whenever we want? Seriously, is THAT freedom??? Is it ONLY for those who fight other men for it? Is freedom being locked in battle with your "enemy"?? Is freedom sending our young ones to fight the battle for us??? Is there really freedom from taking another persons life? Just because some of the same "type" of persons have taken lives themselves.....???
Is freedom, going to work each day of the week so that on the weekend you can party? Is freedom working at a job you actually like? Is freedom having your own land (although you have to pay yearly taxes on it), making your own power, growing your own food, and homeschooling your kids??? is THAT freedom??
OR is it KNOWLEDGE of how things REALLY are??? Is THAT freedom?
A famous man once said "the truth shall set you free", yet his followers seem to be the LEAST free people on earth. The TRUTH shall set you free....
The truth shall set you free......
The truth shall set you FREE!
Freedom is NOT about these earthly things, freedom is within us. Knowledge of who we are and how we stand with the God of Christ is what truly sets us free. This is the freedom we experience even when we are imprisoned, beaten, starved, lonely, oppressed, taxed to the hilt by gov, nagged at by spouses, working as factory drones, etc. There are those who are truly FREE in every single country on this planet.
And if we are truly honest with ourselves, we KNOW who these people are that ARE truly free. We see them here and there as we go about our lives. These are the ones with that big warm genuine smile on their face and joy in their hearts. You've seen them. That older lady at the counter of Micky D's or that quiet gentleman at the hardware store. You know that inner peace when you see it. You know the ones I'm talking about.
They have found the TRUTH and have been set FREE. They KNOW that freedom does NOT come from mankind shedding blood on the battle field, but rather the shed blood of just ONE man. They KNOW that freedom is NOT something granted to men by other men, but rather that freedom comes from God. There is no doubt in their minds that all these governments in the world really are irrelevant when compared to the Kingdom of God.
They listened to the Shepard's voice and are following him to his God.
And the truth shall set YOU free.
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